The Hickman's BIG Adventure

One more year

2009-12-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

It's been over a year since our last post. We have been too busy living life to document it (spoken like a computer programmer; if you don't understand, ask a programmer and they will explain).

Kolya is now on Christmas break in 6th grade. His English is greatly improved, although he still shakes his head at how we spell and pronounce English. His earlier life of deprivations does not allow him to understand how wasteful we are about putting silent e's on the end of words and using ough for either the sound o, u, or uf.

Kolya has been taking swim lessons and is progressing quickly. He has gone from the dog paddle to 3 1/2 twists in the full pike position from the 10 meter paltform. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but he has been moving quickly through the levels. He has also been involved in Taekwondo since summer and loves it. He goes 2-3 times a week and has finally achieved the belt which allows him to start contact sparring; every 12 year old boy's dream.

He has begun sharing, unprompted, snippets of his life before the orphanage. We listen, not making a big deal, just letting him share.

Okay, enough post. We just thought (another one of those wasteful words; think of the illiterate people in China who would love to have some of those letters we don't pronounce) it would be good to do a yearly update. And yes, we did our duty and sent the yearly update to the Ukranian embassy. Take care and have a great holiday season.

Quick thoughts on learning the English language

2008-12-01T12:42:00.000-08:00

Joe here. This posting has not been vetted by Wendy. I am posting on my lunch hour at work.

I’ve come to appreciate just how hard it is for someone to learn to read and speak English as a second language. Consider the book I was having him read to me the other night. It included the sentence “The kite flew high in the sky.” Simple to us, but as he struggled to read it, a light went on which allowed me to see it from his perspective.

First, they have no sound in the Russian language which is similar to our “th” sound. So those words are difficult to pronounce.
Second, the Russian language has no long i sound.
Third, the “e” in kite is silent.
Fourth, the word flew rhymes with glue, two, to, and too; tell me how you can teach solid rules for pronunciation with words like that.
Fifth, in the word “high” the "gh" is silent and does not sound like the "gh" in the word “tough or the "gh" in the word ghost.
Sixth, the word sky contains the letter "s". In Russian, the sound the "s" makes is represented by their letter "c".
Seventh, also in the word sky is the letter "y". In Russian, that letter has an “”oo” sound.

So in a sentence containing 7 simple, common words, none longer than 4 letters, there are at least 7 issues a Russian child must face before reading it correctly.

One other quick note before I leave off the blog: we had a snowfall this weekend with about 3 inches on Saturday and 5-6 inches on Sunday. In the midst of the snow on Sunday, Kolya pulled out his bike and attempted to make his way up the cul-d-sac. Ten feet later, he realized the futility of his efforts and returned the bike to the garage. I think he's puttng snow tires on his Christmas list.

Nine Weeks In...

2008-10-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! Kolya has been here 9 weeks now and what progress we have made! We no longer have the pouting fits and stubborness. Communication is definately a barrier when it came to these behaviors. We began to use an interpreter immediately after he misbehaved to explain why he needed to do what what we asked of him and it worked wonders. One day he decided not to participate in school. I recieved an e-mail from his teacher saying he wasn't acting himself and he refused to do a group project. The interpreter asked him if he could refuse to do school work in Ukraine and he said "No." She explained he could not do that in America either. He also was unable to sit in a dental chair and get 2 cavities filled. He heard the drill and started screaming and crying. He was numbed twice and could not feel anything but pressure, but he was too scared to endure it. That was a visit I should have used the interpreter for as I think she could have explained that he would not feel any pain and calmed him down. We had her explain to him that he would have to be put to sleep for the dental work and his response was, "No I won't. They fixed it." It was then I told him we didn't even start because he was so upset. This definately made him mad.

But that was several weeks ago and since then he has figured out that he needs to do as he is told. He has called the orphanage several times to talk with his best friend, Losha. The last time he called he had to say his name 4 times before someone recognized it was him. How soon they forget.

He has gone to Elitches, our amuzement park, and was very excited to be able to ride 4 roller coasters. He has had a successful season in soccer. Typical of any child, he complains about attending practice and games, but enjoys it once he is on the field. Next he will take swimming and Karate. We found out that he THINKS he can swim but when he jumped into the deep end of the pool this summer and almost drowned, we figured out he needs to take lessons!

He no longer makes his bed in the morning because his siblings do not. I was bummed about that. But what can I do? If I don't enforce it with the older two, I can't make him do it. He does keep his room clean though!

More later.

Update

2008-09-05T16:42:00.000-07:00

The one thing I am disappointed in with the adoption blogs are the lack of updates after the child arrives in the US. So here I go.... first is school. I registered him on the day after we returned which was a Friday. I was told he could not start until he was entered into the system, which was Tuesday. So from Friday to Tuesday poor Kolya was dragged everywhere with us. We bought new clothes, grocery shopped, shopped for school supplies, went to Joe's work to show him off (he rolled his eyes in his head because this was sooooo boring. Everyone staring at him and saying hello.) We visited everyone we had missed in the last month. So by the time Tuesday rolled around I think he was begging to God that he be admitted to school just so he wouldn't have to be introduced to another adult. We did tell him the reason for all the meet and greetings was because we were so proud of him.
Kolya is always smiling. Not much gets him down...except the anticipation of the first day of school. There were no smiles and very little appetite for breakfast. Fortunately we had a Russian interpreter who works for our school system meet us in the office. We saw instant major relief on the face of a very nervous little boy when he heard his own language! The kids thought he was THE coolest kid they had ever met and some of them had looked up Russian words on the internet to try and talk to him. His teacher has him teaching 1-2 Russian words to the class every day and he learns the English counterparts. I figured I would be attending school with him for the first couple of weeks at least until he was comfortable. I was sent away at 10:30 am the first day by my new son as school was no problem and he definately did not want to be shadowed by 3 women all day. Jeeezzzz! What a kid!
So school is a favorite right now as he has very little homework and no real tests to stress about. We have had some tears but they are not due to homesickness, they are due to communication barriers. I went to have his hair cut to which he said "No." He kept saying my older son's name and pointing to his hair. He wanted his hair long and in his eyes. I said no and we went to get a trim. We go to one of those Cost Cutter places where the girls aren't too bright and I ask for a trim. Short on the sides and long in the crown. She practically shaves his head without the razor! He cries and I feel like a rotten mom. I called an interpreter when we got home to explain that is not what I asked for, but forgiveness was a long 24 hours away.
The next set of tears were when we made him drink water. He refuses to drink milk or juice. He wants soda. No way says mom and dad, so water is the only thing left. He came from sea level and we are a mile high and dehydration is a concern. Plus we have floride in the water and his teeth could use it!
The third set of tears came with the next set of immunizations he recieved at the doctor's office. First he was hummilated by having to wear the gown, so I took it off. Next he was mummbling under his breath in Russian the entire time we were waiting for the doctor who was 45 minutes late. I kept saying, "It's an American thing!" to which he looked away and probably did an internal eye roll. The 2 shots he recieved were very painful because the medication that was administered stings badly. He then thought that the nurse gave the shots wrong because they hurt so bad. All of this I got from the interpreter I called after the visit. I had planned on taking him to McDonald's for lunch then back to school but he refused and insisted he return to school. Later I learned he cried when he was alone with his ESL teacher. I want to feel like a bad parent but shots hurt and there was really nothing I could do about it. His day ended on a positive note though. We have signed him up to play soccer with Colorado Rush and he went to his first soccer practice then we went to McDonald's for dinner and Kolya went to sleep with a big smile on his face.
He has had 2 play dates with Russian speaking children his age and he absolutely beamed with happiness after each one. Today we went to a Russian grocery store and again the big smile came across his face as he was able to pick out any food he wanted. The owner told me he said he was not home sick at all and I was a much better mother then his biological mother. Well now, the bar wasn't set too high on that one was it?! I am happy to hear I float his boat as a mom!
The best part of this adoption process is the look on his face as he experiences all the wonders of America. He is a very upbeat, playful, happy boy and he brings such joy to all of our lives. Tomorrow he will see his first Colorado Rockies professional baseball game and later this fall we will take him to a Six Flags Amusement park and blow his mind on the rides! Having a third child feels no different than having 2 children, just more fun, as the third one isn't a baby!

There's No Place Like Home!

2008-08-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

As Joe said, we made it! Kolya is grinning from ear to ear! And for those of you who don't know us very well, I did not bribe my way through Ukraine, it just seems like it.
I have some interesting things to tell you. The day I blogged and said Kolya was "bored" was a very frustrating one. Kolya not only was bored but was suffering from food poisoning. The boiled chicken was bad. I was told by our "VIP" driver that I would be picked up at 2:00 to go to the airport. Well, Alexi the driver, was to lazy to make a left hand turn to the Internet cafe when he dropped us off so he stopped in traffic and we were invited to jump out of the van then cross 4 lanes of highway-speed traffic and walk down a block to the Internet cafe. Well, poor Kolya was practically doubled over in pain. I was less than happy with the driver. Once he was inside and sat down he looked better. So I waited outside the cafe at 2:00 for Alexi and at 2:10 I received a call from Edward asking me where I was. I explained I was sitting outside the cafe and Alexi was not there. Edward insisted Alexi was there and had been waiting for us, I insisted he was not. Then Edward told me to go to where Alexi had dropped us off. That is when I lost it. I pay top grivna for this driver and he makes us hike up to where he is and dodge traffic because he does not want to make a left hand turn. Kolya was looking even greener than before and clutching his stomach. I gave Alexi hell when I reached the van in English which he does not understand, which he interpreted as me being mad because we were going to be 10 minutes late to the airport. Clueless. We get to the airport and Kolya runs to the bathroom with Alexi in tow and empties his stomach. Alexi comes back and pantomimes this to me and I sarcastically say, no kidding and roll my eyes for real this time. Alexi immediately gets Edward on the phone and starts whispering to him (like I know what he saying) and Edward gets on the phone to tell me his diagnosis of Kolya's condition. I wanted to say, "No shit Sherlock!" but I held my tongue and instead said, "yea, I figured that one out on my own!" This just fueled my fire. Both men were clueless to why I was mad and frustrated. They just don't care for their children like we do. I checked my luggage and called Joe to vent my frustrations. Poor Joe, I just increased his stress level 10 fold, but I had no one else to talk to.
We arrived in Kyiv and I went to get our luggage and 3 men elbowed me aside and butted in line right in front of me. Then I spotted my luggage going round and round ready to be picked up and no one else's luggage was out yet. Kolya is trying to tell me to go get the luggage and I start venting once again, this time to no one in particular. I said,"You people really out do the French when it comes to rudeness!" No one even flinches or turns to look at me. So I say even louder, "that is my luggage and I would really like to get it but NOOOOOOO you people need to butt in line and be rude." No response from the crowd so this time I say,"HHHEELLLLLLOOOOOOO!!" and start plowing through the crowd. I get my 2 pieces of luggage (they are still the only ones on the carousel) and try very hard to hit everyone's shins and legs as I pull it off the belt and drag it to the back of the crowd. That felt good!
The flat we stayed in was large and in the central area of Kyiv. Everything was within walking distance. For $90 a night we had 2 forks, 2 knives and 2 spoons, 3 rusted pots for cooking and no soap for the shower. BUT, we had air conditioning and hot water. Whoo hoo!
The next day I started off the day with a breakfast of champions, peanut butter on a spoon and a diet coke! We started off the day by going to the "hospital" for the physical exam. I was not expecting much but was surprised that the doctor actually owned a stethoscope and knew how to use it. The interesting thing is the doctor's "office." We waited in a narrow hallway. On one side there are chairs and the other has many doors with the doctor's names on them. I watched as people/patients would occasionally get up from the chairs and open the doctor's door and peek inside or step inside then come back out to sit. I was thinking that must be the reception area behind the doors. Oh no. We are called into a room about 10' x 10'. In it are a desk and chair for the doctor, 2 chairs for patients and family, an exam table and a sink. The view to the exam table from the door was blocked by a simple screen. This is the doctor's office AND the exam room. So during Kolya's exam, people would open the door, peek in and look around and the doctor would tell them to go back and sit down! Can you imagine a stranger walking in on your exam?! Unbelievable.
Kolya received the first of his Hepatitis B series and his last Rubella shot to complete his immunizations for entrance into the U.S. The cost for the exam was $85 and the shots were $40.
We then headed to the US Embassy to apply for Kolya's visa to get into the US ($400). I cannot say enough about Valentin at this point as he is so organized that the visit went without a hitch. He had all our paperwork in perfect order. There was another American couple there adopting a 3 yr. old and they did not have all their papers and had to come back.
We then booked Kolya's flight to the States for $1400. If Joe had booked it from the U.S. it would have cost $2,500. So at last, we encounter a savings!! The rest of the day was running from bank to bank trying to get a cash advance on my Visa card without a PIN number. It was a no go, so Joe had to Western Union money over to me. So a note to the Denver group, take a Visa card and your PIN number with you, just in case.
The next day we had our exit interview at the U.S. Embassy and we were free to leave. I had some Grivna I needed to unload so we went souvenir shopping. I gave Kolya 20 grivna to spend and his face lit up in excitement. After many debates on what to buy, he spent it on candy and comic books! I had to laugh! Typical 11 y/o boy! Speaking of typical boys this age.... I was having Kolya shower each night before bed. He is used to having a shower once a week. So one day I bent over to kiss his head and his hair smelled sweaty. So I made sure he showered that night and emphasized to wash his hair. He came out of the bathroom with the towel over his head, drying his hair. Ten minutes later we were out on the balcony watching the military practice marching and I look over and his hair is dry. I ask him if he washed his hair. He would not say yes or no, just looked guilty. I smell his head and it stinks! He was then bent over the tub by Mama and his hair was washed to his dismay! Today, Friday the 22 nd, he got a bath by Mama and his toenails no longer have dirt underneath them and all the Ukraine has been scrubbed off. He didn't even protest, I think he just gave in to the fact that he must be clean on a daily basis. Now I need to convince him to change his underwear and clothes everyday!

I must add more kudos for Valentin. Customs in Ukraine wanted all the ORIGINAL adoption documents. Well, the US Embassy sealed the originals and told me no one could open them but the US Customs people. Valentin had given me 2 complete copies of all of the papers and they were all notarized and translated. The mean surly customs lady in Ukraine let us by after 20 minutes of going over them and discussing them with everyone else in the airport to the great dismay of all the people standing behind us. I don't think the janitor really knew what she was talking about! The US customs people keep the originals and I am left with one copy of the papers. That came in handy registering him for school today. I was able to give them his new birth certificate and the court decree of adoption in English and Russian, notarized!
We meet with his teacher, the Principal, ESL teacher and a Russian Interpreter on Monday and he starts school on Tuesday. Next will be the many visits to various doctors and dentists.
So the answer to everyone's question is YES I AM GLAD TO BE HOME! I love my house my bed and my in-door ice dispenser! I slept 9 hours last night and am back on Colorado time. It is much easier adjusting coming back than to go over.

To the Denver group, we will have an open house but we want to wait until the Stewarts and Matthews have returned so it may be in mid-September. In the meantime, feel free to call or stop over as we will be happy to see all of you! And we want to thank every one of you who posted comments on this blog as we looked forward each day to hearing from everyone. If anyone else would like to contact us in the future our e-mail address is jwhickman@comcast.net.

They're home!

2008-08-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Wendy and Kolya landed safely in Denver late Thursday afternoon. Joe was not able to get a picture of the arrival because they zipped through passport control and customs so fast that they were through just as Joe and Elizabeth arrived at the airport (the secret reason for no picture is that Joe was so excited at their arrival that he neglected to bring a camera).

Upon arrival, Kolya was immediately joined by kids from the neighborhood. They played in the cul-d-sac with Kolya's new remote control SUVs, and then headed up to the park to play baseball with his new glove.

We will post more details once Wendy has had a chance to catch her breath and sit down to blog her thoughts. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers through our process.

They're coming home!

2008-08-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Joe here. I've talked with Wendy this morning and they have completed all necessary forms and steps at the embassy, Kolya has been checked out in the medical exam and has been pronounced a typical 11 year old Ukrainian boy. He also received a couple of shots which he had not had when he was at the orphanage. We'll have the real exam when he gets here.

I had to wire money to Wendy on Tuesday. She had really gotten into the spirit of Ukraine and started bribing everyone. $50 to a waitress to get ice; $30 to a cashier to get to the head of a line; $20 each to the other 7 people in line; $100 to a street musician to play the Beach Boys' "Sloop John B" (cultural reference for those of you not up on the Beach Boys; sample lyrics: "I wanna go home, let me go home. Why don't you let me go home"), $75 to a cat to allow Wendy to pet it, 1 grivna to a pedestrian the cab driver hit, etc. After the massive outpouring of bribes, she found herself with only 15 grivnas to her name and a hungry little boy. But thankfully, she was in Kyiv under the wing of our main facilitator, Valentin. Wendy could not speak more highly of him. He has been wonderful, paying for everything until I could get the money wired to her and she could repay him.

But now, everything (and everyone in the Ukraine) has been paid off and their last remaining task is to get to the airport in Kyiv and board the plane. They will be picked up at the apartment about 3:00am Kyiv time for their 5:30am flight. They have a lllllllloooonnnnnnngggggg layover in Frankfurt, then a direct flight back here to Denver. They are scheduled to land at 4pm on Thursday. It will take at least an hour to an hour and a half for them them to get through passport control and customs. Wendy has told me that they will be pulled out of the line and have their papers examined. So we expect to see them around 5:30pm tomorrow afternoon. We can't wait.

Monday 18th

2008-08-18T02:06:00.000-07:00

I am currently sitting at an internet cafe while Kolya is bored to tears. He is walking around in circles doing big sighs in my ears. He is now tired of his Leapster and he does not know how to use the internet so has nothing to keep him busy. We left the Liverpool hotel at 7:30 am and drove to some official office to get an official stamp on Kolya's official papers. This took a bribe of $50. We then arrived at the passport office at 8:15 am and the office did not open until 9 am and the nice lady who got $450 did not get to work until 9:20 am. By 10:00 we had Kolya's passport. We then head straight to the airport, which only has one gate, and purchase flights to Kyiv for $300. The man refused to take my Visa so I am now down to 550 grivna to my name and still need to pay the driver for the day. I tried to explain to Edward I need to hit a bank before getting on the plane if I am to pay the driver. Knowing him, it will be a last minute thing and I will be running for my flight. The next flight to Kyiv is at 3:45 pm. It beats the overnight train ride for 12 hours! If we can get a physical done by a Ukrainian doctor today then I can be at the US Embassy tomorrow when they open, but those chances are slim as I don't think any doctor will get us in today. So most likely, he will have his "exam" tomorrow and I will go to the embassy and the paperwork will be finished on Wednesday and I fly out Thursday am. I put "exam" in paranthesis as the doctor reads the report from the orphanage and "maybe" listens to his chest then asks for $350 and stamps his papers. Edward calls this a formality. I am guessing he does not take Visa either.
Then the US embassy takes my money also and we get to fly home for approximately $3000.00. This trip is beyond expensive. Don't get me wrong, it is very worth it, but the last time this much money flowed out of my pocket I was signing the mortgage papers on our house!
Today as we were driving to the passport office Kolya started to hyperventilate and turn green. I asked Edward to ask him if he felt bad and felt like throwing up. It was a double yes answer. I told Edward if Alexi did not want to clean up puke from the inside of his car he had better pull over. Edward and Alexi told him to open the window and hang his head out. Nice. It took about 45 minutes after we arrived at the passport office for Kolya's color to come back. Either the boiled chicken wasn't sitting well in his tummy or he had a case of the nerves. Of course the obvious choice is Alexi's driving. It is enough to make anyone want to puke!
We had dinner last night with the Matthews, the Parish's from Indiana and another couple from Minnasota. All three met at the orphange as the SDA is now sending all the Americans (it seems) to that orphanage. It was a great meal with wonderful company. Later Dan, Joyce, me and the Parish's all sat in a 100 degree (have I mentioned how hot and humid it is here? I thought so)hotel room and watched the footage we had taken on our camcorders. I had the goodbye party film and the 2 couples could not believe how nice Kolya's orphanage was compared to the one their girls are at. Their orphanage does not get as many cash donations and is run down. I know Dan wants a copy and so I plan on making copies incase anyone else wants them. I know the Field's and Garrett's will as their girls are in it.
Well Kolya is threatening to push all sorts of keys on this computer if I do not get off. I think I will have my hands full today with a bored child. Time to get some paper and encourage him to draw, he loves that!
See you all soon! Wendy and Kolya

Sunday Aug. 17th

2008-08-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

Hello from Donetsk. What a day we had on Friday. You would have thought Joe was with us from his blog entry! Yesterday Kolya and I vegged out in the very hot hotel room and took well deserved naps. But in the morning we went to the open market which in American terms is a flea market. It sells food and clothing and anything else you can imagine. There I bought Kolya a belt as he has not changed a size since we last saw him 17 months ago. The kid is 11 yrs old and wears a size 7-8! I bought him size 10-12 and the army pants I bought him fell straight to the ground. So I get the belt for 15 Grivnas ($3) and now he wont wear the pants. (the computer is freaking out right now so excuse the lack of punctuation). I guess he doesnt want to deal with the belt. I also purchased 2 pirated DVDs for $10, one Simpsons and one Sponge Bob. He watched the entire Sponge Bob DVD, front and back, in 8 hours yesterday. Today he is on to the Simpsons. He is absolutely loves the Leapster and takes that everywhere he goes. It is a life saver!
Dan and Joyce and another couple from Indiana are staying in the same hotel and it is so therapeutic to talk with them. The hotel we are staying in is called Liverpool and it tries very hard to be English. It is as close as we can get. The rooms have air conditioning but it doesnt work. It is about 100 degrees here and the rooms are like saunas. It does have a free breakfast and Kolya has ordered boiled chicken, tomatoes, cucumbers and a pastry both days. I choke down a rubber egg and eat tomatoes then have peanut butter at 10 am in the room. They do have a cafeteria on the main level but the food looks like someone regurgitated it. No wonder everyone here is thin! They sweat like pigs and eat disusting food! Kolya is eating as if he has never eaten a day in his life. Hopefully he will grow up and fill out the 10-12 pants soon enough.
Dan and Joyce took four giggling girls down to Mariupol yesterday to the Extreme Park, McDonalds, to get her ears pierced and to swim in the sea. I never went to the sea because the water is the nastiest water and only goes up to your knees for miles. I think those girls will be glowing in the dark at night. The factories dump stuff in that water, I am sure of it! Joyce is worried her little girls ears will be infected today. I agree. They are madly in love with Nastia # 2 and plan to call their girls Anna and Hannah. Yes folks, they will be proud parents of 2 hormonal girls. Valentin told them it is his mission in life to get the Matthews Nastia #1 and Ludmilla has said she will do anything to help the Matthews adopt her. Oh by the way Denver group, Ksenyia did not get her Visa and is back at her job. She must wait 2 months and try to apply again. The Ukraine does not easily let their young women out of the country.
The Matthews and Parishs are taking a day off from visiting their girls and are now at the flea market. Another American couple was sent to the same orphanage and are here in Donetsk and we are all planning on having dinner tonight together. We found a restaurant across the street that has English menus as well as Russian. We point to what we want and Kolya orders in his fluent Russian. Last night we ordered, ate and I thought we were done when here comes a big bowl of ice cream! Apparently he ordered dessert when he ordered his meal! What a clever boy!
The plan from here on out is Monday I get his passport in one hour for a bribe of $450. (If you do the math, ten days in a hotel at $70 per day, this is a bargain). We will then fly to Kyiv Monday evening and maybe get to the US Embassey. If not Monday then Tuesday. I figure we will have our exit papers by Wednesday and I am booking our freedom flight for Thursday morning. So I hope we will be on American soil Thursday evening. And Joe, if it is over 85 degrees in Littleton, the airconditioning had better be on full blast!!
I will be calling Joe everyday and he will blog the rest of our adventure out of here. I cant wait to see all of you, and Kolya and I thank the Gates group for all the gifts you have given him! You are very kind and this little boy deserves a little kindness in his life at this point. He will think it is New Years or his birthday! (See previous blogs regarding Christmas vs New Years).

He's FREE!

2008-08-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

Joe here. Kolya is now safely in Wendy's arms. I talked with her this morning (late afternoon Ukraine time), and she let me know they got the court decree and she was able to take Kolya out of the orphanage.

She did spend a good portion of the day trying to get his new birth certificate. The bureaucratic lunacy continued. At the office of vital statistics, she was informed that she had to go to a different vital statistics office to get a permission slip to come back to this office. So they had to go to the other office, pay someone $50, wait an hour, get a permission slip, come back to the original office and wait another 2 hours to get it. Then they went to the bank to transfer Kolya's money to the orphanage. There, they were informed that Kolya needed a new taxpayer ID (similar to our SSN). They did that, then they went to the orphanage. There Wendy was held captive by Ludmilla, the director, as she lectured Wendy once again on having Kolya call the orphanage at least once a month and giving parenting advice. With a tight smile on her face, Wendy nodded politely as, inwardly, she hoped for an earthquake so she could escape in the ensuing chaos. Eventually Wendy was released and she lovingly threw Kolya into the van then yelled at the driver to floor it (in Russian of course).

They raced the 100 km to Donetsk, where they would get Kolya's passport, but the journey through the bureaucratic maze and Ludmilla's lengthy lecture caused them to arrive too late to start the process. Fortunately, Dan and Joyce are in Donetsk and Wendy and Kolya will have company during the wait for the passport. At this point, we are not sure how long that wait will be. 10 days seems to be order of the day unless our fearless facilitator, Edward, can influence someone to expedite the process.

In the meantime, Joe's boss and co-workers threw a suprise congratulations party for him this morning, complete with gifts for Kolya. For this, he thanks them immensely and appreciates their thoughtfulness.

The Good Bye Party

2008-08-14T02:52:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone! I hope your day started out better than mine! Tanya and I have been taking Taxi's to places here in Mariupol and I am shocked at how cheap they are. $2 to get uphill to the Internet Cafe! We have been paying Alexi 70 grivna per hour which is $15/ hr. I decided to shop around after I spoke with The Matthews and we had a little discussion on paying this our assigned driver, Alexi, $150 + per day. As most Americans we shop for the best price and as Tanya has pointed out, if they know you are American they charge you twice as much or more. So I found out that Taxi's here charge $40 grivna per hour and if we used the taxi service here in Mariupol for our day of getting the documents we need and to get to Donetsk, it would be $400 grivna total. So Tanya discussed this with Edward and Edward discussed this with Alexi and Alexi said he would do it for $400. But, when Tanya got off the phone she said Edward would Kill her for doing this. That is when the guilt set in. By this morning I was so worried about how Edward and Alexi would act that I was not even excited about getting the court papers. Edward arrived and just nodded to me, no smile and avoided my gaze. We took the bags to the van and Alexi, who usually smiles and says "hello my American friend!" said nothing to me and avoided me totally. When Edward got into the car he said, "well, MAYBE we will get everything done today." And off we drove in a snails pace. Usually Alexi drives so fast I need to close my eyes. We dropped Edward off at the court house and Alexi when to his flat, got out of the van and left us sitting there for 15 minutes, not saying a word to us. This is when I began to cry. When Axeli returned I gave him 700 grivnas and he put his hands up in the air and said,"You tell Edward one price but you give me this!?" We then drove to the court to get the official papers and the secretary said we cannot get them until tomorrow. Apparently this judge allows the papers to be given after the 10th day not on the 10th day. Edward still would not look at me. Today was the first day I have cried on this trip. Joyce says that is better than her as she has cried so many times she has lost count. We drove back to the flat which luckily we have paid for up through tomorrow and dumped our luggage. Axeli wanted to hug me and kept telling me not to be mad at him, I cried more. It took me 30 minutes to get myself under control. We then went to the orphanage to see Kolya and as any 11 yr. old boy does, he shrugged his shoulders at having to stay at the orphanage one more day and asked to play with his Leap Frog games. I figure he is not upset because all of his best friends are at the orphanage, not at camp.
Tanya has bonded with Anya Garrett and has given Anya her cell phone number to call if Anya needs someone to talk to as Ksenyia has not returned to work, which means she got her Visa to go to to her fiance's country to get married. The other secretary understands English but does not speak it very well. She also doesn't have much of a personality either. Anya has written her parents a letter along with answers to the interview I gave her! I have given both the gifts you sent her. She is very grateful. I told both Nastia and Anya that their parents want to hear about what they do during the day and the little things that go on with them. Nastia also wrote a letter to her parents but is never downstairs to hang out with us so I was unable to interview her. Nastia did wear the yellow and purple dress I/her parents gave her to the going away party for Kolya and she looked beautiful.
I video taped the going away party and also gave the camera to Kolya so I am sure all of the Denver group will have plenty to watch when they come to the open house we will have. Tanya and I had to go to the supermarket and buy 3 boxes of fruit for the party which cost about $90. I thought the cashier was going to have a hissy fit the way she carried on about having to ring up a box of fruit that was not weighed before hand. We then had to call a taxi to get it to the orphanage. Ludmilla actually attended the party. I was surprised as she was not there for the Canadian's couple's party. Ludmilla made a big production of how I was a generous person to buy all the children of the orphanage this fruit. I rolled my eyes as I was instructed by her to do so, or else!
Tanya has bonded with the paraket in the waiting area. The bird like her so much she is able to open the cage and pet it. The lady who cares for this pet told us that Ludmilla refuses to let the bird fly as it eats the flowers on the plants. The orphanage cannot buy this bird food and it sometimes goes hungry. So I buy Kolya food and drinks to take to him each day and feed all the cats in Ukraine and she buys nuts, fruit and chips for the bird. Today, I asked the woman who cares for the bird if Ludmilla would be willing to sell the bird for $300. I planned to give it to Tanya as Tanya has said she cannot leave this poor orphan there to be treated as he is. The woman said Ludmilla hates the bird and is looking for an opportunity to get rid of it. So Tanya called her mother, her husband and her mother-in-law and they all agreed she should take the bird. When we asked Ludmilla, she said no way, as the bird is too expensive ($900) and if she sold this bird, she would just buy another one. Tanya cried and said there was no way she would take this bird if Ludmilla would turn around and buy another one. We dubbed today the day of tears for both of us.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

A few more new pictures

2008-08-12T14:35:00.001-07:00

Just a note to let everyone know we've added more pictures.

http://s274.photobucket.com/albums/jj262/jhickman13/AdoptionAdventure/?albumview=grid

Tuesday 8/12/08

2008-08-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

Today I gave Kolya his Leap Frog Leapster. He is in little boy heaven! His friends returned from the "camp" around 11 am and he was so proud to show them that he had this new toy and asked if he could keep it with him when I leave. That was a definate No. I have seen how these children treat their things and I do not want it to be broken! It took me hours on E-bay to buy all the games for it. He has already aced the math games as they are all too easy for him. I bought the ones for grades up to 5th. Addition, subtraction and multiplication. I am glad I did this as he hates math and he feels very good about himself when his score is high! The English games are Batman, The Incredibles, etc and it will take some time to figure those out.
I spoke with Nastia Fields and Anya Garrett as soon as they returned today and this time I had an interpreter, Tanya, with me so I know they understood that both families are fighting hard to get here. Anya was so grateful she kissed and hugged me. Nastia was her shy self. They both will be at Kolya's going away party tomorrow. They may be part of the dancers and singers. I plan to video tape the party and will get as many pictures of the girls as possible.
Tanya has explained over and over again the situation with Kolya's pension money. We called both Edward and Valentine for their advice and they both said it is not right to take the Ukrainians money they are giving to an orphan and go home with it. It is to be given to the orphanage. I think Ranya wants to make sure I do not leave with hard feelings regarding this issue. I figure when in Rome, do what the Roman's do, so I will give the orphanage the money as is traditional and deligate it to what Kolya says they need the most. We asked Kolya yesterday what he feels the orphanage needs and he said his mattress is fine. He said they never have enough winter clothes or soccer shoes. So I will designate the money for winter clothing, shoes of all types, DVD players (theirs broke this week), TV's and Playstations. Tanya explained that the mattresses need to be custom made and the money would never be used if I specify they spend it on that.
Today we obtained Kolya's original birth certificate and need to get 2 notarized copies. We took a taxi to the notary that we had been using and found out she is on vacation (of course). So Edward told us over the phone (as he is in Donetsk with the Matthews) to walk the streets as there are hundreds of notaries that will do this for us. Real helpful huh?! They do not have phonebooks in Ukraine. So Tanya dropped me of here at the internet cafe and she is running around finding a notary. We then must go to the inspectors office to get copies of some of the papers. Tanya wanted to know if I knew how to get there. Now, I thought I was doing good knowing how to get to the notary, but to get to the inspectors office is a alot to expect from me! Plus i must not talk inside the Taxi because if they find out I am American the cost of the Taxi increases X 10! So I sit in the back seat and point so the driver cannot see me, which ways to turn.
Tanya just came in the Internet Cafe asking if my phone was out of service. She tried to call me 6 times. I said no but the Sim card we put in it has limited service and she could not call me. She had gone outside and asked a random man if he knew where a notary was and he sent her on a long journey which she ended up at the notary that was on vacation! She then decided to walk up and down the main street and she found one right away! Everything in Ukraine must be notarized and I am getting an extra copy of Kolya's birth certificate notarized just to have one. She was trying to call me to ask if $4 was too much to pay for it. Oye, as the Ukraines say.

Tomorrow is the going away party which I must bring 3 large boxes of fruit and donations for the kids. The Matthews gave me the bags with the winter clothes in them but they have decided to give those to the orphanage they are adopting from. So on my way out of the country I will be passing through Donetsk and will give them the clothes. Kolya's orphanage will get the toys and 12,000 grivna. I think that is plenty! Edward says it can take up to 10 days to get Kolya's passport unless he can find someone to bribe. I sure hope he finds someone because I am so ready to be home!
FYI, Christmas here is on January 7th and it is a quiet religious holiday celebrating the birth of Christ. New Years Eve is a big deal where Jack Frost brings presents to all the children and it is celebrated on Jan. 31st.

Cruella Devil

2008-08-11T03:05:00.000-07:00

I will start this blog by saying I have taught my entire family how to wash their own clothes so I am sure they will eventually be clean. Hopefully by the time I arrive home!! (hint hint).

The next day after the tearful "English is too hard," Kolya sat down and recited the alphabet almost perfectly. Tanya and I were very impressed and asked him if he had been practicing over night and he said yes. We then progressed to another book I brought with me and flash cards I purchased. He is doing so very well and has participated with excitment. I told him about the Leap Frog I bought for him and told him as soon as he gets the alphabet down and some basic words he could play it non-stop until we get home. I gave him a goal of Tuesday or Wednesday. (Today is Monday). We continue to play cards with the rule that If I catch him cheating, I will go home immediately. The card games always start off honest but the last 2 games end up with Tanya telling me the 2 boys are ganging up against me and telling each other what they have in their hands and trying to get my cards. Tanya then tells me what Kolya has in his hand because he never seems lose a game! We all end up laughing in the end and my strick policy of no cheating seems to be bent just a little.

Now on to the shocker of the day. Ludmilla, the director, is Cruella Devil (101 Dalmations). Today she came into to chat with me via Tanya. She loves to give parenting advice which I just nod and agree to, all the while I am rolling my eyes back in my head thinking Yea right! She told Kolya that his cheeks look bigger and that he is eating too much. She said he needs to speak more English and eat less. I wanted to smack her. Next she very sweetly told Tanya that Kolya's parents had a pension and when Kolya's father died and the mother's right were relinquished, the money was put into a secure bank account and he would get it when he became of age or when he was adopted. Ludmilla proceeded to tell Tanya that on Thursday after we pick up the official documents from the courts we are to bring them to her and she will send a representative of the orphanage with us to the bank with Kolya's account number. I am then to sign paperwork to have his money transferred from his account into the orphanage's account immediately. No I am not kidding. He has 12,000 grivna or $2,400 in the account. That is a fortune to these people. Tanya was so angry she was shaking for 2 hours after the little chat. I have left a message for Joe and e-mailed him asking his thoughts on this. Most of you who know me well, know what I want to do! I actually will be calling Edward and Valentine to see if there is anything they can do to assist me when dealing with Cruella. I wanted to say to her that we already gave her $1,000 which went staight into her pocket, and if she thinks I am nieve enough to think this money will be put towards the children than she does not know me at all. Which of course she does not, I am a good a__-kisser. Nothing is easy here in Ukraine.

Speaking of nothing is easy.... I remember David telling us that we may have to teach our children that they can flush the toilet paper instead of putting it into the trash. We were shocked and awed by that piece of information. Well....the toilets here cannot handle TP being flushed so everyone puts it into the trash that is provided next to the toilet. GROSS! I think number one on my list of things I miss about America will be the toilets and #2 is the ice cubes. What do you think?

Thats it for today. Tanya just told me that Ludmilla can keep Kolya's birth certificate from me if I do not transfer the money. That is what Edward told her. Unbelievable. Stay tuned!

Wendy

Joe here. I've just talked with Wendy on the phone and this has been cleared up. This is an orphan's pension from the government that some orphans get. Wendy talked with Valentin and he said it is traditional that the money be given to the orphanage. But it can be designated for specific things. So Wendy is going to specify matresses, shoes, a new DVD player, maybe TVs, and definitely more soccer balls.

We miss Mariupol

2008-08-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

Just a short blog from the US contingent.

Graham, Elizabeth and Joe have safely arrived home and the kids are now missing Mariupol so much that Graham's girlfriend and 2 of their group are already over here, and Elizabeth has been texting and phoning her friends non-stop.

Joe does still have remnants of the trip. He keep saying "spaseeba" and "da". That may take him a few days. He of course is already missing Wendy. Somebody needs to unpack and wash the clothes we brought back.

About the trip back to the US, Joe will say only one thing, "Do not get food poisoning on a 10 hour flight."

Joe, Graham, and Elizabeth are now anxiously waiting Wendy and Kolya's arrival home. And hopefully soon, Joe will stop writing in the third person.

Teaching English

2008-08-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Everyone! Do you have your coffee? Okay lets start.

First, lets talk about the fluent access in this country to drugs and alcohol. Tayna told me yesterday that anyone can buy any type of drugs (percocet, ritilan, heavy duty pain and psych meds, antibiotics, etc.) from the local pharmacy without a prescription from a doctor. And there is a pharmacy every 20 feet, just like Starbucks. That is why there is such a bad drug problem here in Ukraine. As we have pointed out before, beer is more accessable than water or Cola Light and the grocery stores have 2 entire isles devoted to Vodka alone, then they have isles for the rest of the alcohol. It is like our liquor stores, just WAY cheeper.

Today, Tanya andI slept in then watched Hitch with Will Smith. She loved it. We also watched the opening of the Olympics last night and I was highly impressed with the Chinese! They way out-did the Utah/US opening ceremonies.

Anyway, we arrived at the orphanage at noon today and explained to Kolya we would work on the English alphabet for a while then do fun things. We got to the letter "O" and tears started streaming down his cheeks. He said it was too hard to learn and he will never learn it! Remember, he hates his English class. It took Tanya and I, 20-30 minutes to convince him it is okay if he doesn't learn it all in one day! I explained that I could not learn Russian and Papa only learned a little bit to survive over here. I explained that I could not be left alone in his country because I did not know the language or know how to read the signs! I had to hire Edward and Tanya to help me. I think what eventually sunk in with him was that I explained that I was not planning on throwing him into school all day and leaving him. I planned on being with him all day in school and would be his interpreter until he felt comfortable on his own. The poor child broke my heart, for a while.....keep reading!

After a very short session in English we watch the Fantastic 4 on DVD and ate popcorn, gummy bears and drank Coca Cola for lunch. The smile returned. We then played cards with a 14 y/o boy named Denise. This was hysterical as the game we started with was Concentration/Memory and Kolya, who usually wins, lost every hand. He then decided he wanted to teach me one of his card games. Tanya was very helpful as it seems the rules change when it is Kolya's turn! Kolya would hold his cards down and Denise could see them and asked Kolya for everything that was in his hand, making Kolya very pouty. I laughed as it is dog-eat-dog in the orphanage and you need to learn to keep your hand close to your chest if you want to be a good player. Denise would laugh and just play on. During this game Kolya accused both me and Denise of cheating. Tanya was helping me with my hand and would explain to Kolya that I did not have the card he was requesting but Kolya would argue with her. She was shaking her head and smiling looking at me for guidence. Long story short, I won the game by sheer luck and Kolya and Denise got into a heated/laughing discussion about cheating. Kolya then told Tanya he only cheated once...okay maybe 4 times!

They then wanted me to play the Ukrainian version of War, which they call The Drunken Man. Since Kolya never shuffles the cards, even though he sits there and insists he does when we know he has not because we never left the area, I was delt all the 2's, 3's, 4's and 5's. In War, the highest card takes the trick. I was out of the game in 2 minutes flat. Tanya and I preceded to watch Kolya and Denise play and Kolya cheeting outright. Denise was a very good sport laughing his a-- off at Kolya's outragous behavior. I explained to Tanya that if he plays this way at home in America, we will stop playing the game and just walk away from him, telling him that if he cheats the playing is over for the night. It will fix that problem real fast. We left today with our sides hurting from so much laughter, mostly towards Kolya. I left the deck of cards with the boys as they do not have any in the orphanage.

Oh yeah, more thoughts on what these kids need as far as donations. Our soccer ball lasted 2 weeks before a stick impaled it and it went flat. The beach balls lasted 2 days max. We have "lost" 4 frisbees. Any type of ball is most needed, but every ball turns into a soccer ball! The kids do not have cards but love to play. The problem is, I can see the deck not being complete for long. The kids need shoes very badly. Just like American kids, the average pair last maybe 3-6 months then they are trashed.

I know this next piece will not surprise most of you but, Tanya told me today that I am not like most Americans she has met. Okay everyone, pipe down! She said in the 8 years she has been doing this we are the first family that has not wanted to eat out for every meal. We have been visiting the supermarket close to the flat everyday to get supplies and we have eaten most of our meals in. Tonight I fixed beef and vegetables for dinner and she said it was good. I told her she didn't have to lie, even after I gave her the Hymlick (sp?) maneuver then mouth to mouth to revive her. I told her I do make a mean Margarita if she ever had to live on that alone!

Joyce and Dan are in Kyiv with the rest of my brood and they called from a mall to rub it in about how much fun they are having. The Matthews fly down to Donetsk on Monday to visit an 11 y/o girl the SDA recommended. If they bond with her, they start the adoption process in that city. If not, it is back to the SDA. They are determined to come home with a child which I am very happy about. They have gone through the ringer with emotions here. Joyce told me she thinks it should be a requirement for all Americans to travel out of the country so we would be less selfish. She said she will literally bend down and kiss the ground as soon as she lands. She promised never to complain about the dogs barking in the neighborhood, blah, blah, blah. I laughed as I have been to Europe before and know how lucky we are!

Got to go, I want to read about the news in the US. See you tomorrow at breakfast! Wendy

2008-08-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! This is the free woman roaming wild in Mariupol! Or is it the wild woman roaming free in Mariupol?! My new translator Tayna looks as if she could be my younger thinner sister! Her hair is dyed red (as is many woman's hair in Ukraine. They don't even try to get it to look like mine, they go for the fire engine color!). She is 26 years old, married and working on her doctorate degree in foreign languages. She teaches English at the University along with Edward and this is how she got the job of babysitting me for a week. I cost $40/day to look after. Just my luck, she loves to talk and she has a cat! She laughed at me today as I fed "every single cat in Mariupol." She makes me wash my hands with antibacterial wipes after I pet each set of cats.

I decided to use her expertise in teaching English to work on Kolya, to his dismay. He said his favorite subjects in school are Drawing, physical training and computers. he does not like his English class. HA! He picked the wrong family to live with!!! We spent about 30-45 minutes on the alphabet and writing his name. As a reward he then got to watch a Russian cartoon/movie. Tanya and I could not stay awake during the movie, but tried hard to look interested.

But the real story lies in our morning session today. I interviewed Kolya with the camcorder. I used my journalism savvy and started with easy questions to soften him up then ended with the hard ones. I almost did not want to post this, but it is easier to tell everyone all at once instead of each person asking me individually and having to tell his story in front of him over and over again. I learned that his father left his mother when he was young (I know that is relative as he is still young) and he went to live with his father and his father's parents. This is the grandfather we met the other day. This is also the house where Kolya grew-up in. Kolya loved his grandmother and she was a good cook, so he says. She is now deceased. His father was a drug addict and was killed in the home by some people who broke into the house, stole the drugs and video tapes, then beat his father to death. Kolya and someone else came home to the dead father. Kolya was then sent to live with his alcoholic mother, whom he helped quite a bit. One day he said he ate something that made him very sick and he had to go to the hospital. It was then that her parental rights were taken away. I had Tanya interpret the video tape of the visit to his home and the grandfather was happy for him to go to America as he is too old and sick to care for Kolya. Kolya told the neighbor ladies his mother is in a hospital. I did not ask Kolya to elaborate on this subject as I don't really care where she is now. The neighbor ladies want him to write to them. He did not say he would, yet he did not say he wouldn't.

So that's it. I am so glad we can provide a better life for him and I made sure Tanya told him that if he ever wants to talk about his parents or grandparents we would love to hear the good stories as well as the bad. I also told him we are very grateful to his parents for having him as we would not get to raise and love him if they hadn't.

I will end now as I have only paid for an hour and want to check my e-mail and read your comments. Then I must hit the disco across the street because I look and smell so wonderful after walking and sweating all day! Joe and the kids got to Kyiv just fine and signed all the necessary papers. They will do sight-seeing tomorrow and fly back on Sunday.

The day that warmed my heart (and the day after)

2008-08-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

Note - We were unable to get to the internet club last night, so we are posting 2 days worth this evening. Stay tuned for the exciting adventures.

Tuesday - August 5

Today is hot and humid. The air is thick with the stench and pollution from the factories in town and my eyes water. The minute I get outdoors the membranes in my nose and sinuses swell up and the sneezing begins as my body tries to rid itself of the toxins. The children at the orphanage know no different as they play happily amongst themselves without any symptoms. Joe here. We noticed a unique phenomenon today. Flies were dropping in mid-flight. They would grasp their little fly throats, gasping for air, twirl once, twice, three times, and then plummet to earth.

This week a group of about 10 children have returned from the “camp.” They are from 5 y/o to 7 y/o along with 2 older teenagers. We started our day with Kolya playing Battleship as he did not appear to have the full energy to play soccer. We found a cheap travel version of the game along with checkers at the local grocery store. I thought this would be a fun way to teach him the first part of the alphabet and his numbers up to 10. When we first arrived he was reluctant to practice his English. We have slowly been coaxing it out of him. With the help of his 2 new siblings, he beat the pants of Joe and sunk all of his battleships. Joe here again. My claim is that I let him win, and I’m sticking to it.

We then decided to bring out the pirated DVD and watch an animated movie. Just then the group of children came out to play. They were happy to see Kolya and completely fascinated with the movie. As the children gathered around us to watch, I moved so they could see the movie. Kolya said, “No, Mom” and pointed for me to sit down next to him. I tried to tell him it was okay, that I could watch from behind the kids as I was taller than they are, but he would not hear of it. He spoke sharply to the children and he instructed me to sit next to him. During the movie a young boy inched closure to the screen and Kolya felt he was blocking my view and told the child he must back up. I tried to indicate to Kolya that it was okay, that I could see just fine. Kolya then spoke out the side of his mouth to the child and gently elbowed him back. I pretended not to see as this was the first indication that Kolya felt possessive of any of us. He was not going to share his Mama.

Meantime Joe entertained the rest of the kids with cards, magic tricks and juggling. The children are obviously starved for attention. Joe here once again. The kids entertained me as much as I entertained them. One girl in particular, about 6, provided much entertainment. She brought over a “magic” wallet, and instructed me to make things disappear with it. At least I think that was what she was telling with a combination of very rapid Russian and vigorous gestures. She then handed me a leaf. Given my vast magic experience, gained with years of practice using my Marshall Brodine Magic Cards (a gift to me from some special friends when I was in my early 20s), I was of course able to make it disappear by putting in the wallet, yelling “look, it’s the KGB”, pointing behind them, and then quickly stuffing it in my pocket as they cringed in fear. When they had recovered their senses, I impressed them by opening the wallet and showing that the leaf was gone. I then magically produced the leaf from my pocket. The little girl then proceeded to show me her magic tricks with the wallet. With rapid-fire Russian patter, she would put little plastic pieces into the wallet, hold the wallet behind her back and let the pieces drop out. She would then bring the wallet back to the front and show me that it was now empty. Ta Da! It was great fun with the kids. They love magic and juggling. Both seeing it and showing it off.

We saw the little redheaded girl today that I briefly wanted to adopt along with Kolya. She had a bandaged left arm in a sling and one of her older friends had braided her hair into a spiral on her head. It was beautiful and I told her so using our Russian to English dictionary and she blushed and thanked me. I do not know if she is available for adoption as she was not offered to the Matthews. I did not see the Matthew’s Nastia in this group. Ludmilla had told Nastia that the Matthews had arrived to adopt her but because of her mother won the appeal she must stay with her mother. Ludmilla said she cried. Breaks your heart doesn’t it?! It is almost too much to bear.

I mentioned to Joe as we were walking back to the flat today, that you almost get used to the look of poverty around you. These people know no different. Good news though!! They picked up the garbage today and the apartment stairwell doesn’t smell as if someone died recently. We actually saw a woman sweeping the stairs with a wet broom. Graham said, “Either it rained and the building leaked randomly, or the lady was mopping with a wet broom.” Our observant son!
Kathi Metcalf, you promised to lighten my days with lengthy e-mails. What’s up chic? I would actually make the trip up hill both ways to read your rambling musings if you actually sent some. In 2 days I will be living with a stranger (I wanted to say a strange woman but who knows, she may be fun!!!) and I might need some laughter! Get going homey!

Wednesday, August 6

It was cloudy and cool when we woke this morning. It rained early, then let up. It rained again in the early afternoon. Then the sun came out, the humidity rose, and we felt it.

In the morning when we went to see Kolya, we brought the DVD player. Yesterday, Kolya had borrowed one of the DVDs we had bought. Using gestures and pointing, he indicated that his group had watched WALL-E last night. Today, because it was so wet and muddy outside, we stayed inside the orphanage and watched one of the other movies on the disc. It was from one of the Scandinavian countries, either Norway or Denmark, the closing credits were not too clear on that. You could barely hear the Scandinavian diaogue. Over it, a single voice did the translation. We were able to follow the story somewhat, and Kolya enjoyed it.

After we returned to the flat at lunch time, Graham and IJoewere going to head to the internet club. But Joe received a phone call from Edward, letting us know that we had to get pictures of Kolya for his passport and Visa. So our driver, Alex, picked us up at 3 to take us to the orphanage. There, we would pick up Kolya and one of the orphanage workers, who would take us to the photographers. While we were waiting at the orphange, Alex talked with Kolya. Loyal readers may remember (if we remembered to blog) that he had promised to take us to see Kolya's village which was just outside Mariupol. So it was decided. After the photos, we would all go to see Kolya's village. Wendy was nervous. The last thing she wanted was for Kolya to see his mother. She was afraid it would bring up too many bad memories.

We went to the photographer and then headed out of town, NE by Joe's reckoning. It took us about 15-20 minutes to get there. We realized once we hit the village that they were asking Kolya for directions. As far as we knew, Kolya had not been there since he was 6 (5 years ago, for those of you not keeping count). We then realized that there were no street signs, so it would be difficult to find an address. We crossed our fingers that Kolya would remember. Knowing our kids' memories, they can barely find their way to the school they were at the day before, much less find a place they hadn't been to for 5 years.

Finally, Kolya pointed down a road, and the driver turned down it. There were some people sitting on a bench underneath a gnarled tree on the right side of the road. The driver stopped. He and the lady from the orphanage hopped out. We heard the words "Katzy" and "Kolya"bandied about. The old women on the bench stood up, with amazed looks on their faces, noding their heads. The driver motioned for Kolya to get out of the van. He did and the women hugged him and pinched him.

Then they pointed a little ways down the road. So we all got out of the van and walked that way. As they were leading us, Wendy nervously asked the orphanage lady if this was Kolya's Mama. "Nyet", she said. "Grandfather." We approached a whitewashed house with blue trim. It looked like it had recently been painted. We came around the side of the house, past a pear tree and underneath a grape arbor. The old women had now been joined by a woman who looked to be in her fifties. They started knocking on the side door and calling into the house. After a minute or 2, the door opened, and there stood an old man with a grizzled grey beard, wearing a threadbare dark suit with a red rope in place of his belt. The ladies pushed Kolya forward and started speaking rapidly. After a few dazed moments, a small smile broke out on his face as he realized who it was. During this time, we were capturing the moment on the camcorder so Kolya could remember it. Apparently, it was explained to him that we were adopting Kolya and taking him to America. He seemed happy. We were not able to verfiy the realtionships of the other people there. We had no translator with us. So we are relying on the video record to help us sort that out once we are able to show it to a translator.

As we were thus engaged, our driver was collecting pears from the tree. He presented them to Joe, who had nothing to carry them with, so he was forced to resort to making a small basket with the hem of his t-shirt.

We eventually said our farewells and headed back to the orphanage. We dropped Kolya off and Graham and Joe (that's me by the way) headed to the internet club to get our blog posted, which is what Joe is doing at this very moment.

Thanks to all for the kind words. Joe, Graham, and Elizabeth head to Kyiv tomorrow night. Joe has to pop in at the US Embassy on Friday, and then they fly back, leaving Wendy. Wendy will have a translator we have not met yet. Edward had to go home for several days. His wife was having surgery. He will be back in Mariupol in time to get Wendy and Kolya on their way. In the meantime, Wendy will have a translator named Tanya who will stay with her at the flat. Wendy wants to let people know that she may not blog regularly because the walk to the internet club is not easy in the heat and humidity.

By the way, for those at the rubber works, Joe thinks he will be back in the office next Wednesday the 13th.

Court Day

2008-08-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

It's a boy!!!!

Today we became Kolya’s official parents as proclaimed by the court system. We got the “best judge in the city.” Everything is the very best in the city. Our driver is the best fisherman! He is the best driver (HA!). This is the best country! You get the gist. Now there is a 10 day waiting period and when I asked Edward the reason for the 10 day wait, he did not know why and stated no one knows why. He said that 2 years ago the judges would regularly waive the wait period citing the child needed to go back to school, or there were special circumstances. They can no longer do this.

The witnesses at our hearing looked bored. The prosecutor was 5 minutes late so the judge started without him. We answered 3 basic questions; Why do we want to adopt? Why do we want to adopt this child? And with I have the energy to raise another child? That’s it (a side note: We were going to tell the judge we needed one more child to clean our toilets. We have 4 bathrooms and only 2 kids to clean them. We need more helpers. The Matthews advised us against this option; probably for the best) They walk out of the room for 1-2 minutes, come back in and declare us the new parents. It took all of 15-20 minutes total. Edward was amazed. He says he has had to spend 3-5 hours in a court room before. My feet would have died of suffocation in the high heels I was wearing! Plus it was not air-conditioned and it is hot today!

We returned to the orphanage to talk with the doctor about Kolya’s medical history. The doctor has no record of his medical history prior to him coming to the orphanage at 6 y/o. His right foot was burned before he entered the orphanage. There was a note in his medical history that said he was burned with hot tea water. This seems to happen often over here as their kitchens are very unsafe for children. Our interpreter, Edward, his one year old daughter recently pulled down an entire pot of boiling water onto her face, arm and back. She is still recovering.

I learned they have an immunization for TB, this explains why all the Ukrainian children come up positive in the US when they get the blister test. Kolya has had an encephalogram (brain scan) and an ultrasound of his heart and of his thyroid all because his thyroid is larger than normal. The doctor, of course, cannot tell us why but speculates it could be from the pollution in Mariupol or from Chernobyl. (Okay, whatever!) He is normal for his height and weight and otherwise healthy. (Yea, we’ll see when we return to the US!) He definitely has some sort of skin condition. I am guessing eczema along with zillions of bug bites from the beach. Kolya’s father was Greek (hence Katsy) and his mother was Ukrainian. He was born here in Mariupol. I got that much because I am a nurse and recognized some of the test results.

We then were called into Ludmilla’s office where she did exactly what we expected. Gave us the bank account for the orphanage and asked us to deposit $100-150 each year earmarked for something particular such as toys, medicine or clothes. (I figure we are good for the next 8-10 years, what do you think?) Then she requested that Kolya call the orphanage once a week for awhile to talk with his friends as well as Ludmilla so she can make sure he is happy. Ludmilla pointed out that Liubov has never checked in. (I kept my mouth closed like a good girl so I could get out of there in one piece.) I informed her that Jessica just had a baby girl and Liubov is very happy. I also informed her that Jen is due on the 8th with a baby boy and Albert is also very happy. She was very happy to hear these updates. Now we are all happy. Ludmilla then went on to tell us there is 120 children in this orphanage most which cannot be adopted. Either they are too sick or they have family that is hanging on, visiting or the family member is in jail. If you are in prison in Ukraine and have a child in an orphanage, you get special privileges.

Ludmilla promised us a tour of the orphanage, but to my dismay we only got to see the boys dorms and the girls dorms. I wanted to see where all the younger children stayed. I see the infants up to 2 year-olds outside and can hear them cry when we are on the playground. If I am to donate money I want to see their living conditions. When the younger kids are outside they wear shoes, ratty underwear and hats. It is a sight to see! Ludmilla informed Edward that we are to bring 3 large boxes of fruit for Kolya’s going away party (we must feed all 120 children, not just his friends). His party will be on the 13th when all of his friends will be present to say goodbye. I will video tape it for the rest of the family. We attended one for the Canadian couple so I know what to expect. This is when Ludmilla suggested handing out the toys/donations to the children.

Another note to adopting families in Denver, Edward has never seen such a going away party in all his years of doing adoptions. Of course, he has never ran into a director like Ludmilla before either! NO ONE wears t-shirts over here, which is what I brought Ksenyia and Ludmilla; pretty embroidered Colorado t-shirts. I also brought them a Starbucks gift baskets and don’t feel that was adequate either. I suggest unique necklaces, braclets (Ludmilla has a very thick wrists) or wait until you get here and buy them alcohol and chocolates. No kidding, a bottle of champagne and chocolates will do the trick. The chocolates over here are to die for and every grocery store has aisles and aisles of them. Trinkets or things you must dust are VERY popular here. Think 1960’s decorating and you’ve got it. Today I went to buy a broom and dust pan because this lady’s “vacuum cleaner” over heats every 5 minutes. It took me 2 hours to vacuum the kitchen and it still was not clean! I also bought a mop. She must get on her hands and knees to clean the apartment. I’ll spring for a $5 mop!

The kids only go to school (no kidding) for 3-4 hours then come back eat lunch at the orphanage then nap, no matter what their age is! I know it is hard to believe even though both Jessica and Jennifer told us. I can’t imagine how they get to sleep at night!

Kolya had looked tired yesterday when we were playing with him and when we asked him if he was tired, he immediately said “No!” Today we were told he had a temperature last night but not this morning. He ate lunch and went down for his nap (one of his last naps as an 11 y/o). We brought our new pirated Ukrainian DVD’s to the orphanage and watched WALL-E in the waiting room once Kolya was up. Ludmilla gave us permission to bring our children into the building just this once (what a gal!). We all laughed at the movie even though 4 of us didn’t understand what they were saying. It was just good to know Kolya is finally ours for the keeping!

The weekend in Mariupol

2008-08-03T01:50:00.000-07:00

For ease of reference, here is the link to our photos. We have posted a few new ones up:
http://s274.photobucket.com/albums/jj262/jhickman13/AdoptionAdventure/?albumview=grid

After we left the internet club yesterday, we stopped at a store and bought more minutes for the cell phone. We had not been able to call Edward, our facilitator, for a few days. We had been able to call the Matthews however. It took Joe some time to figure out what was going on (he’s slow that way). When we bought the phone in Kiev, we were with the Matthews and Andrew, our interpreter there. He had bought us a plan which gave us free minutes between us, the Matthews, Andrew, Valentine (I think), but not with Edward. They came pre-loaded with some minutes which must have been used up. It is easy to buy more minutes for the phone. Many places sell the cards. Our phone uses a plan called “life.” You just go into the store and ask for “life 25,” or “life 50”, etc. The number is the cost in Grivnas. I’m not sure how that translates into minutes. Once you buy the card, you scratch off an area on the back of the card and reveal a number. You have to enter the number into your phone to apply the minutes. Joe got a quick run-down of the instructions from Edward on Friday (we let Edward off the hook for the weekend, feeling he needed a break from Americans for a couple of days). Joe attempted to enter the numbers and received constant “operation failed” messages, without an explanation of why it failed (those darn programmers; couldn’t they create a better message). Then Graham took over. He also got the error message. So much for teenage tech savvy (hey, you just read off numbers and I put them in, you didn’t tell me there was MORE). It did not help that the only instructions were in Russian. An idea struck Joe (he has so few, they usually hurt him when they hit). We have a new son that is quite fluent in Russian. Perhaps he could help.

We arrived at the orphanage. It is bath day again. After waiting about 15 minutes and wondering where in the world Kolya was, he emerged with wet hair and minus 8 layers of dirt (out of 13 total). As we waited outside the orphanage for Kolya to come down, Joe noticed that the security guard was the rather amiable one. So he approached the guard and in his best Russian asked “Can you play English?” (at least he is getting closer; the last time he asked someone if they were the queen of England). When the guard laughed and said neem noga (the rough pronounciation for the Russian “a little”), Joe knew we were in business. He pulled out the phone and the card. The guard went back inside, fetched his glasses, read the back of the card, and nodded. He then proceeded to show Joe what to do. Ah, there was one step he missed. So for those of you who will be traveling over here, I give the steps to add minutes to the phone (note, this applies to the life plan).
1) Buy the card from any store.
2) Scratch off the shiny area on the back. (Wendy was the first one to find the shiny spot. Go figure.)
3) In the instruction area on the back of the card, you will see something like this *111* (the 3 numbers may be different on different cards)
4) On your phone, enter the numbers you see above with the * sign plus the numbers you see in the scratched off area (there are spaces in the numbers, but you do not enter those; that’s for readability). So on my phone, I entered *111*27524437059818#, then I hit the call button.
5) After several seconds, you should get a message in Russian, and not an Operation Failed message. You’re good to go.

After getting the phone minutes set up, we proceeded to play our usual games of Frisbee and the orphans’ version of volleyball over a line of pennants that someone has placed just for this game (Joe remembers this from his elementary school days as being called newcome; and no it was not played over a dinosaur tail). The object is to hurl the ball with your hands over the line hoping the other person/team will drop it. Strategy includes slam dunking, dropping it lightly over the line or hurling it at the other persons face. Kolya does a “wacky” dance sometimes before throwing it across the line. We then play some soccer as his regular shoes are soccer cleats.
We taught him the card game of Concentration for those of you who are old enough to remember the TV show, Memory for those of you without crow’s feet next to your eyes.
Kolya tries to get us to pick the wrong matching card by pointing at the wrong card while looking very innocent. When we choose the wrong one he laughs hysterically. We let him get away with that maybe once.

After about 1 ½ hours we all get tired and sit around staring at each other. Then Graham and Kolya start wrestling or picking on each other. We are trying to get him to speak English. Graham hit upon a great motivation for Kolya. He is trying to get Kolya to say “I want 25 kopyicks (kopyick is their equivalent of cents).” If Kolya says it, then Graham gives him (reluctantly and at the urging of his parents), the money. Great Graham, the first English you have taught him is to beg for money. At least he is calling Wendy Mom, and Joe is Papa.

He loves to draw and brings down his book full of pictures he is working on and at first we believed he was tracing the pictures from other coloring books but as we were sitting on the bench outside yesterday afternoon, he began to draw in the dirt. Puzzled at first as to what he was doing, the kids quickly recognized that he had drawn Spongebob Squarepants. We’re thinking he may be very talented. That would be a first for our family as none of us have any real talent for the arts. Well, Joe and Graham can both draw excellent stick figures, but other than that, we’re hopeless.

We are writing this on Sunday morning. We expect to have nothing exciting happen to us today. We will see if the internet club is open, and then perhaps check out the street market. We will visit Kolya around 2pm and then have a quiet evening watching the sappy chick flicks Wendy brought along (or not).

Tomorrow (Monday, Aug 4) is court. Edward will pick us up at 9am and head to the train station to pick up one document from Valentin in Kyiv and then we pick up the representative from the orphanage and the representative from the inspector’s office (Wendy asked if we have to pick up the judge as well). It’s almost here!!!

What I miss about America by Wendy Hickman

2008-08-02T01:55:00.000-07:00

1) ICE CUBES. I have converted an egg tray into an ice cube tray, but I am still struggling with how to transport the cubes to restaurants.
2) Garbage disposals.
3) A washer with English instructions.(A cold wash turned into a hot wash and my pink shirt turned into a purple shirt)
4) A dishwasher (although I do have Joe). Elizabeth feels that Ukrainians do not wash their dishes, they just rinse and put away after use. How else to explain the amount of fingerprints on the glasses in the cupboard in our apartments?
5) A maid. Wait, I don’t have that a home either. Oh well, I can dream!
6) My sleep number bed - Although I will admit I have it better than Graham who is sleeping on a pull-out chair on the enclosed porch under the clothesline. It seems everything in these apartments pull out. In a pinch, the toilet will even pull out into a single bed.
7) Clothes dryers. Especially from Graham’s standpoint since we have to stand on his “bed” to hang the clothes. He really doesn’t like this early in the morning.
8) Gluten-free foods at Vitamin Cottage – Graham is missing that so much he is actually starting to eat some real food like cheese. I just want one gluten-free bagel please. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
9) A stand-up shower. While we have a hand-held shower head, there is no door, or curtain around the bath, so we have to sit in the shower and pretend we are a 2 year old being given a bath by our Mom. Sorry about the visual of Joe sitting in the tub.
10) Our cats. Wait, there are whole colonies of cats here, including a Momma-to-be cat, so maybe we don’t miss our cats so much. I have purchased cat food and feed the cats as we pass them. The orphanage cat, who the kids have named The Dread Pirate Precious because it has one eye, gets most of our food and our lovin’.
11) Ziplock bags
12) Plastic wrap in a box with a serrated edge that cuts the wrap for you and aluminum foil that does not rip when you touch it.
13) Water you can drink out of the tap. Although we do not know for sure that the Mariupol tap water is unsafe, we have not yet convinced Joe to be our guinea pig and try it. Even the locals do not drink the water.
14) Restaurants where we get exactly what we think we are ordering.
15) The words “Excuse me.”
16) No butts, no cuts, no coconuts. (translation: the concept of how to stand in a line and wait your turn. These people would flunk kindergarten).
17) Golf
18) Cards with Kathi and John. We have tried knocking on the doors of our neighbors here in the apartment building with cards, chips, and chocolate martinis, but they just look at us like we are crazy.
19) One front door, not two doors with 5 locks.
20) And last, but definitely not least, people who speak English. That is a given I suppose.

THE END (most probably to be continued)

The above report was done in the apartment. I have just finished reading all of your comments and I thank-you for all of them! We miss home alot! Elizabeth just chants "I want to go home" regularly. She needs your ruby slippers Aunt Mischelle. Too bad we can't find duct tape in the supermarkets. Love the news about Kyles 2 new teeth! Sorry about the rain in K.C. Say good-bye to Sean and I hope his accomadations over there are better than the best here! It appears I will be able to get permanent custody of Kolya on Aug 14th or 15th, then we run around like mad trying to exit the country. The weather is is hot and all of us are sneezing like crazy. It must be the "clean air" tickling our noses. One interesting observation about the people here, they like their air conditioning but are convinced it makes them sick. Could it be the factory pollution or the filth everywhere? No, it must be that cool blessed air.

Catching up

2008-08-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

This is our catch up blog. When we moved from the old apartment to the new, we lost the easy access to the internet as the old place had a dial-up connection there. With the new place, we have a 15 minute walk up hill to the internet club. Graham and I are here now. Jen and Mike, this is the place you used; did they have the air conditioning on when you where here in Feb, because they have the heat on here now. We also have been to your pizza place and the AMCTOP (in Russian, this is actually pronounced Amstar; it confusd our driver when we kept asking to go to A.M.C. Top).

The Matthews are experiencing more than their share of challenges, but it is theirs to share. We will share some of the fun times we have spent with them here.

Late Wednesday night, Joe wrote up this portion of the blog on our laptop. Wendy reviewed and added her own thoughts Thursday morning.

Wednesday, July 30
I am listening to my wife and my daughter describe leg shaving techniques. This is a clear sign we have spent too much time in too close proximately to each other.

We have moved today to a new flat. You have read in our previous blogs about the previous flat and seen the pictures we have posted. We grew to like the flat, cluttered as it was. The beds were still uncomfortable, but we have been toughened by our stay (although Wendy still has dreams of a comfortable mattress).

The driving force in our move was the distance to the orphanage. The previous flat was about 2 miles from the orphanage. We could have walked, but would have spent 40 minutes each way. In order to visit Kolya twice a day, that would mean 3 hours walking a day. We barely have enough energy to keep up with Kolya as it is. That would kill us. The other alternative would be to continue using our driver. But that costs 70 grivnas an hour. That is about $15 an hour. We basically pay that from the time we are picked up in the morning until the time we are dropped off in the evening.

The new flat is only a 5 minute walk to the orphanage; 10 minutes if the traffic is heavy; an hour if one of us is hit by a Ukrainian driver (by the way, we have discovered that the Ukrainian driver is awarded 50 points for every foreigner they hit, but only 10 points if they hit a fellow Ukrainian). The new flat is very nice inside (and Wendy’s dreams of a comfortable mattress have been met). We first met the owner several days ago and she told us we were the first Americans she had ever met. She is a very lively, fun lady who loves to travel and take long walks in the rain. If anyone knows of an available man, let us know.

Before we left the old flat, though, we had one of life’s classic moments. The owner of the flat had told our translator, Edward, that he wanted 15 minutes of our time before we left the flat to show us Ukrainian hospitality. We packed up in the morning, then visited Kolya until noon. We came back to the flat and waited for our host, joined by the other couple here in Mariupol, Joyce and Dan. He arrived with his 19 year old daughter (loyal readers should note that this is not the daughter he promised to Graham, this one was going to University to become a lawyer).
Before I continue, let me set the scene a bit. Alexander, the owner, is a successful businessman in Mariupol. He has 4 flats in the town. He does not speak English, although he will ask our translator for the English version of a word or two like wife or daughter and pronounce it with pride. And he loves to talk. Fortunately, we had an interpreter.

When Alexander arrived, he did not come empty handed. He arrived with a bottle of cognac and chocolates to share with us. He then bade us all to sit in the living room and proceeded to fill 5 small metal cups with cognac (one for Joe, Wendy, Dan, Edward, and the owner; Joyce does not drink – she is a good girl). He said none for Graham and Elizabeth because they were too young. But he did ask us if it was okay if they had some of his homemade currant wine. We said they could have a little. So he told his daughter to fetch the wine. His daughter disappeared to rummage in a closet we had been scared to open while we were there. She returned with a 5 gallon jug filled to the brim with a thick black liquid. She took it into the kitchen and came back into the living room with a small pitcher of the wine. Alexander then poured a small amount of the wine into 4 of the glasses (one for Graham, Elizabeth, his daughter, and Joyce; so much for being a good girl).

Once the glasses were filled, Alexander then rose to his feet and proposed a toast to us, for the noble thing we were doing in opening our homes and hearts and adopting children from the Ukraine. He also mentioned during the toast that if we had any problems to let him know and they would be … resolved (hmmmm). He also made the offer to Dan and I to join his agricultural import/export business (double hmmmm). After the translation, we clinked our cups and threw down our cognacs. Elizabeth and Alexander’s daughter sipped their glasses of wine, Joyce pretended to sip hers (back to a good girl), and Graham drained his glass (uh, oh).
Alexander then filled our cups with another round of cognac. Graham did not get another round of wine. Joe then rose and toasted the relationship between the United States and Ukraine. We then clinked glasses and drank again.

Then Alexander told us that in Ukrainian tradition, because of the Trinity, you must toast in 3s. So he filled our glasses again (poor Graham, he still had to sit there with an empty glass). Then he rose again and told us that what was his car was our car, his house was our house, his wife was our sister (a Ukrainian joke, feel free to use it at your own toasts). Then we clinked glasses and drank again. After each toast, Alexander would pass around chocolate.
Then he told us of one more Ukrainian tradition which our translator had some difficulty with until Joe recognized what he was trying to say: “one for the road.” Alexander then filled the cups again, this time to brim, effectively emptying the bottle. Joe then rose to his feet and toasted the friendship between our two families and inviting Alexander and his family to come over to Colorado and stay in our condo (much to Wendy’s dismay). In a further show of hospitality, Alexander offered this daughter to Graham, who was now wondering if there were no polygamy laws in the Ukraine. We clinked glasses for the final time and downed what was left of the cognac.
After many handshakes, hugs, photographs, and our own personal jars of homemade currant wine (quite tasty actually, although we are marking the levels to keep Graham honest), we said our farewells to Alexander and his daughter. Graham thinks if he does marry into this family, he will be “connected” as well, just like his father-in-law, if you know what we mean.

After dropping off our bags at the new flat, we still had time before we would be able to see Kolya again, so we went to a restaurant called Dominos. They normally cater to a dinner crowd, but they were open so we went inside. Our first impression was that it would be too expensive, but Edward looked at the menu and found that the prices were reasonable. So we decided to eat there. Joyce and Dan were with us, so the ordering process took quite a bit of time with Edward translating what was on the menu for each of us. The waitress was very patient, helped no doubt by the fact that we were the only ones in the place. After taking our orders and delivering our drinks, the waitress went into the back. We chatted at the able, Joyce being a second Mom to Graham because at 17, he needs several to keep him line. While we were chatting, Joyce noticed a bell shaped object on our table with a button on top. Absently, she tapped her hand on the button as she talked. Then she noticed a noise towards the back of the room every time she tapped. She looked up to see the waitress heading for our table. Quickly, calmly, coolly, Joyce waved her arms while mouthing “No, no, no.” Everyone at the table broke up laughing. Dan discreetly moved the buzzer farm from Joyce’s reach.

The meal was very good. Evidence of that was Graham finished a good portion of his lamb dish. Joe signaled for the check which he and Dan would split. Instead of the check, the waitress brought over a small tray and cup. Edward, translating, explained that the guest would roll two dice and the outcome of the roll would determine the discount applied to the bill. Joe felt lucky so he grabbed the cup, blew on it, shook it up, and rolled a 10. Not a bad discount. Time was running short, so although Joe wanted to stop at the slot machines, we needed to get to the orphanage to see Kolya.

Apparently, the kids have returned to the summer camp. Monday and Tuesday, the kids poured out of the orphanage when we were there visiting. But today, we were joined only by an Italian couple adopting a sibling pair. We had pulled a soccer ball and Frisbee out of the donations when we first arrived, and that has been a large part of what we have done with Kolya during our time together. We will have kick-arounds, or sometimes small matches with the ball. Or we will pull out the Frisbee and Wendy and Joe will relive their college days (at least Joe will, Wendy says she was too busy “studying”).

While the kids were visiting Colorado, Joe started teaching Kolya to juggle. When he left, Kolya had the rudiments down, but had not yet progressed to a 3 ball juggle. The first day we visited with Kolya, he found 3 small rocks and showed us that he could now juggle. The next day, we brought 3 balls and Joe and Kolya have also spent time juggling. We have also determined that Kolya has a heck of an arm and we figure he can make the throw from left field to nail the runner at home without a problem.

Wendy would like to clarify the apartment renting concept for those of you who think we are renting “rental properties.” Oh no. Mariupol has 6 hotels, 3 of which are nice as our driver explained to us. They are $200/night. Therefore, wise and savvy people who have family to bunk with advertise their apartments which are their actual homes. The majority of people here live in apartments. We have not seen many homes/houses. I think I have actually seen 3 total. They inhabit 1 to 2 bedroom apts with a dinky kitchen and a family area. You hang your clothes out on a line outside a window for everyone to enjoy. As we explained before, our first apt here was stuffed to the gills with “stuff.” Piles of clothing everywhere, not one inch was not covered. This new apt is owned by a single 59 y/o very clean, uncluttered lively woman. Yea! I love it because it is decorated in pale pinks and white. The curtains are beautiful lace. The coffee cups are petite and flowery. She removed all of her personal belongings cleaned out the fridge and moved in with someone else. We had mentioned to Edward that she did not own an oven as we found this curious. These people live as we did in our college dorms, with hot plates and plug in pitchers which heat their water. Edward and his wife also do not have an oven. When we arrived yesterday Edward pointed out that she bought us a microwave oven. OMG! I am embarrassed at the lengths these people will go to, to make us happy. We paid her $800 for 16-17 days rental or $50 per night. If it is true the average person in Mariupol makes $100/month, she just won the lottery with us. The one complaint Joe has (besides the all pervasive pink) is that she has a fuzzy cover on the toilet lid, and, guys, we know what that means….yep, you have to hold up the toilet seat.

Thursday, July 31

We are getting into a routine at the new apartment. Joe is up first and heats his water up in the microwave and then puts in a couple scoops of Nescafe. We have seen very few coffee makers in the Ukraine, none of the apartments we have been in had them. All of them do have these electric pitchers which allow you to heat up water (we haven't dared to use them though, years of use has produced quite a build-up). Instant coffee seems to be the order of the day. If you want espresso from a street side vendor, they just give you an extra heaping scoop of instant in a small amount of hot water. Yum! After Joe heats up his coffee, he sits at the kitchen table admiring the view of the Mariupol factories spewing a gray/white cloud into the air. The birds here are a hardy sort. If they fly through the cloud, they stagger a bit, then right themselves and fly on. Joe's normal vacation routine would involve buying a local paper and reading it while drinking his coffee and waiting for the family to wake. He tried that here, but after 30 minutes of staring at the page, he realized that reading Ukrainian (or Russian, whatever kind of paper he bought) was even harder than trying to speak it. So now he contents himself with trying to translate the ingredients on labels using our Russian-English dictionary.

Eventually, the rest of the family rises, one by one. We make some kilbossa and eggs for breakfast and then head over to the orphanage for our morning visit. The kids we saw and played with earlier in the week have all returned to camp, so it is just us along with an Italian couple who are adopting a sibling pair. The orphanage has a few cats, one in particular we have taken a liking to. Elizabeth has named it Precious. Because it only has one eye, the rest of us have taken to calling it The Dread Pirate Precious.

Between noon and 12:30, we have to leave. So we use that time to stop by the store, grab some lunch, and possibly some sleep (those of us who only slept 10 hours need to grab a couple more). About 3pm we head back over to see Kolya again. When we are with him, we generally play soccer or throw the frisbee. We have started pulling out the cards. Graham and Joe are trying to teach him how to play Texas Hold 'em. We are also exchanging card tricks. For an 11 year old, Kolya knows some good ones.

At about 5:15, we head back to the apartment. Thursday night, we pulled out a video of the Marx Brothers' A Night at the Opera. Joe and the kids love the movie; for Wendy it was her first time. She enjoyed it, helped along no doubt by the nips at the jar of the homemade wine.

It is now Friday midday. We had our morning visit with Kolya and are are blogging at lunch.

We do not have any specific plans for the weekend. We can only visit Kolya once a day on Saturday and Sunday.

Monday is the court date. We are waiting anxiously for that day. Time to close. The hour is up at the internet club. We hope everyone in readerland is well. And thanks for the update on the cats.

Whateverday

2008-07-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

We have lost track of time. We are in the wait until the court date period. Today was nice because Dan and Joyce arrived after an 18 hour (yes, I correct myself from the previous blog) train ride and we had some good laughs about our adventures. They are blogging but have not been able to post it to the internet as of yet. So when they do you will have a lot of reading to do!

Yesterday we had Kolya prepare what we would call party gift bags for his friends in the orphanage. He initially wanted to take the entire bag of goodies and poor it out onto the room floor and have his buddies have at it. But we encouraged him to put one or two of each of the items into each bag then give them out to each individual child, as we would at a birthday party. We had parachute men, army men, airplanes, Dum Dums, beach balls, pencils, and other trinkets. Today we had beach balls everywhere on the playground! Graham pointed out that there was only one toy (a raggity old soccer ball) that wasn't given to the kids by us. We wondered where all the toys that all the other adoptive parents are bringing are going?! The beach balls did not last long as the boys were pretty rough on them and they developed holes pretty quickly. Next out of the Hickman gift suitcase are the frisbees everyone sent!

Each day we visit from 10:15 to 12:30 and 3:30 to 5:00 pm. We play with Anya and Nastia everyday along with all of the other "well" children. I already want to bring home a blond little girl about 6 or 7 y/o and another boy the same age as Kolya. Joe is relieved we only have one dossier! Joyce notices Joe's view point and points his relief out to me regularly!

We move to a new apartment tomorrow that is closer to the orphanage and has one bedroom and a pull-out couch in the livingroom. This will save us much money as we will be able to walk everywhere and not pay the driver. I expect this is where I will stay when the rest of the clan flies back to Denver.

Each day it gets harder and harder to leave Kolya at the orphanage. He gets sad and watches us get into the van and practacially follows us through the gate each time we leave. I know he waits for the day when he can climb into the van with us and spend his extra time as a family and not be left out. It will be hard for me to entertain him by myself after he has had a Papa and 2 siblings wrestling him and playing soccer, catch, and frisbee non-stop each visit. Mama will be boring. I know he will be sad to leave his friends at the orphanage also, and we will try to have him call once in awhile, especially within the first couple of months.

Sorry this blog isn't funny. Everyone is in bed and I am up typing. I feel obligated to enter our days activity, even if it is mundane, for those of you who are hanging on every word. I have taken more pictures of Nastia today and Joe will post them soon. I have other pics of the orphanage kids but will not post them as requested by the Director, David Avilla, and other people of Ukraine. I will show you all when we get home. The Matthew's Nastia is still at camp and we have not seen her yet. Joyce and Dan are trying their best to be patient. I know as of Aug. 1st they will be able to see her and we will celebrate big time that evening!

As a final note to the neighborhood, how are our cats doing? We miss them terribly! The stray kitties around here are getting lots of lovin from us along with scrap foods!

Nastia Fields and Anya Garrett

2008-07-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

We saw your girls today! A few groups of kids returned from the camp for 2 days and they were in that group! We have posted pictures of them. We had not asked permission to take their pictures so I hid behind Graham and snapped away. Anya gave me big hugs and says thank-you Mama and Papa for her gift. I told her the Matthews had another one for her and not to give up hope that her Mama and Papa are working very hard to get here. I guessed you may be here by November. Nastia Fields played happily on the playground with her friends while Anya flirted with the boys. Joe ended up playing soccer with 5 boys Kolya's age and got his butt kicked! Kolya was giving him directions on what to do and to cover his man! That being said, Joe did score 3 goals and had an assist. He also would have played much, much better if the "field" did not consist of broken up rock and mud. And if he had the proper shorts and shirt. And if he was 30 years younger....

A note about this "camp." It is not American camp, it is a second orphanage along the beach. Kind of like a summer home. The kids go there for a while then return back to the city for 2 days then go back. I have seen Kolya get his hair trimmed and a woman with a stethascope summon him and other kids into a room. He did get a bath on Saturday but it did not take long to undo what the bath had done. The soccer game was a muddy mess. I wonder if his toe nails will ever come clean. The kids either wear flip flops or soccer shoes as regular shoes. It is amazing how well they play soccer with flip flops on! It may just be us, but any one of the kids on the field today could play rings around the kids their age in the States.

The girls who game out to play while we were there brought badminton raquets and birdies. Elizabeth was roundly trounced by a 6 year old. So if you are looking for gifts to bring, badminton supplies might work.

The Matthews are currently on a train from Kyiv to Mariupol. Their ride takes 15 hours as they are coming directly here. We went into Donetsk and it took 12 hours then drove to Mariupol. We were thinking about sharing an apartment which was Joyce's idea, then she called and said it may not work out as we are moving into a one BR apt on Wednesday close to the orphanage to eliminate the driver costs. Apparently Joyce does not sleep at night and if she does, it is not until 3 or 4 am. I would be sleeping on the couch in the only other room and that would not make for happy roommates.

We did not blog yesterday as we saw Kolya for only an hour because the orphanage did not have electricity after the thunderstorm. Ludmilla called the workers and limited all the visiting hours to one hour per child. I guess the workers took the food to their own apartments to heat it up then brought it back to the kids.

Edward told us yesterday that our driver (refer to his picture) would like to invite us to his summer home for a BBQ. We are flattered and are waiting for him to set the date, maybe next weekend. I figure we are paying for his children's college, new houses and probably a Lexus for his wife, so why not! He did take us to a wonderful Armenian restaurant that is owned by a friend of his and we had wonderful pork chops and salads. The boys ordered beers so I ordered my standard vodka and Coca Cola Lite. They did not have cola lite or dark beer as Joe likes so the driver and Edward ran out of the restaurant, jumped in the van and went to the nearest grocery store! We were embaressed and told Edward that I can drink regular coke and Joe can choke down a Pilsner if he has to :-). Edward then said you ask for Coca Cola Lites every ten minutes so I bought you 10 bottles. If I wasn't embarrassed before, I was now. It is either bottled water or Coca Cola Lite here and cold Coca Cola lite is not easy to find. It is a good thing both the driver and Edward have a good sense of humor!

At the end of our afternoon visit with Kolya today, he was trying to tell us something. Our interpreter had gone off with the driver to research apartments for the Matthews so we were left with trying to understand what he was saying. We did get Ukrainian dance, but that was about it. So we called Edward on the phone and asked him to talk with Kolya. It turned out the Canadian couple who we have seen at the orphanage the past few days were finally taking their kids home. It is a tradition at the orpanage that they have a party for the deaparting child. We were invited to the party, as there would be entertainment by the kids. And Kolya was part of the entertainment. He and his friend Meesha, along with 2 of the girls, did a traditional Ukrainian dance in traditional Ukrainian clothing. We did not take pictures of the entertainment because we were not sure of the protocol, but we did get a picture of Kolya in his garb, which has been posted.

Time to close now, Joe cooked the most wonderful meal, more wonderful then we could have gotten in the most expensive resteraunt in Paris. And we all now have to digest it. Except Elizabeth of course, since she does not eat meat. By the way, do not expect to find Kraft Macaroni and Cheese dinners over here. We have been to several different grocery stores and not one of them had it. And they looked puzzled when we try to explain the concept of powdered cheese sauce. So remember to bring your own.

Question for the Hesse's

2008-07-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

I found a gift wrapped box, red wrapping paper with a gold tie on it with the name of Andrew Ahgpeio on it in the donation suitcase. I s this for a certain child in the orphanage and who is it from?

Wendy

Saturday in the Park

2008-07-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

I think it was the 4th of July (that should bring back memories for you Chicago fans).

As we were sitting down to blog, we had 2 power outages in a row. The first one lasted about 15 minutes and the second one about 5. We persevere though; we have the kids using a hand crank generator to power the computer and torch light when we need to go potty.

We took Kolya to Extreme Park today. Think of a cross between Elitch's and the traveling amusements that set up in shopping center parking lots. It had several rides, including a roller coaster, a drop, and bumper cars. The advantage of bringing your kids along to Ukraine is they can ride the rides instead of you. Wendy and Joe did brave the roller coaster and Joe did get on the drop with Kolya and Graham. We all did the bumper cars, which did not seem to have the same restrictor plate that you have on U.S. bumper cars. This must be where the Ukrainian drivers learn their craft. We will post pictures of the park soon.

After the park we had to bring Kolya back to the orphanage. We discovered that Saturday is bath day so we anticipate a cleaner Kolya tomorrow. It is sad to say goodbye to him each time. We talk about the day when we can take him from there forever. We will be able to see Kolya for 2-3 hours tomorrow (Sunday). During the week we can see him twice a day, but it is only once a day on weekends.

On other semi-related news for those who know of the orphanage here in Mariupol. Ksenyia is getting married to a Dane. She met him in Budapest, Hungary last year at a candy museum. She told us today that she will be moving to Denmark. We understood her to say that her last day at the orphanage will be Aug 11. That will be sad for the children at the orphanage. Ksenyia is truly a loving person.

We also learned today that Victor (there are those of you who will cringe at this name and others who will be puzzled; this is for those of you who cringe) did not make any friends here in Mariupol. Apparently, he alienated many people, including the orphanage director, the inspector, etc. Fortunately, our translator, Edward has been very good at mending fences. Wendy describes him as a diplomat.

While Joe claims there is a Russian phrase for "Excuse me," we don't believe they know it here. Or at least they do not know the verbal version. They do use the non-verbal version, which consists of a sharp elbow to the kidney.

That's all for now. We want to save this before another rolling black-out hits.

Cathing up at the end of a long day

2008-07-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Wendy posted a brief blurb earlier. We have gotten a court date, Aug 4. Edward also told us that we got one of the good judges, so our session should only last 30-40 minutes. This has made us very happy. Joe thanks Wendy for her anal nature (Wendy says its okay if you substitute other adjectives there, like organized). With the court date then, we can expect that the court decree should be final by Aug 16. Joe, Graham, and Elizabeth should be able to make their Aug 10 flight and Wendy and Kolya should be home well before the end of August.

We went back to visit Kolya at 3:30 and brought a DVD player and a Marx Bothers movie. Graham and Elizabeth love Marx Brother's movies, Joe having introduced them years ago. While much of the humor is verbal, Harpo Marx provides more than enough physical comedy to entertain across the language barriers. The best part of our day today was hearing Kolya laugh.

A few other things we wanted to mention as part of our adventure. We have posted some pictures of the outside of our Mariupol flat and the stairwell leading up. We will try to get some pictures of the inside which do it justice. While the outside looks rundown from behind, the front looks much more refined (insert your own social commentary here). The flat itself has been given some updates. The kitchen has a beautiful tile floor and new cabinets with state of the art hinges. You just think about it and the cabinet door closes. The living room has 4 separate lighting groups, each with their own dimmer switch, leading to some very cool effects. It is cluttered with the life of the owner and his family. Which brings me to the next story.

The owner of the flat is a businessman here in Mariupol. He is an importer/exporter of agricultural products (we don't dare ask what kind). He came by the flat yesterday to pick up some items and we were able to talk to him through our interpreter. Alexander (the owner) loves to talk, and apparently has connections everywhere. He also has 2 daughters, one 19 and one 15. He has proposed a match. He would like his 15 year old daughter and Graham to be married. We would provide the car and he would provide the 3 room apartment for them. I have no doubt that Graham would become a part of his father-in-laws business. But Graham's heart lies with another back in good old Colorad0, so he turned our landlord down. We just hope that decision does not come back to haunt us.

We have also noticed that the difference in time zones seems to have played weird tricks on this family. Graham and Elizabeth, who normally are up until the wee hours during the summer, are in bed by 10pm. Their parents (that's us) who are in bed by 10pm are up and blogging, wide awake. Go figure.

Joe had an adventure of his own making today. While we were waiting outside the lawyer's office, Joe noticed that there was a sidewalk flea market across the street, so he wandered over. As he looked through the goods, he noticed several Soviet medals. Knowing the kids would get a kick out of that, Joe proceeded to haggle over them. He had learned how to say "How much is it?" in Russian, and knew his numbers from 1-10, a bit shakier once he got above that. But he had a strategy. He put 19 grivnas in his pocket, figuring about $5 for a couple of the medals would be a good deal. He approached and asked in Russian, "How big are the badgers?" (it seems that small differences in pronunciation can have big differences in meaning).

Quick aside for breaking news. We are sitting in the apartment which has an internet connection, and fireworks are going off right outside the window.

Okay, back to Joe and the street vendor. After establishing that Joe wanted to know the price of 2 of the medals, the street vendor told him that one was 10 and the other 15. Joe offered 10 for both. And the negotiations began. Joe, however, was merely guessing at what the vendor was offering. When he had the vendor down to what he thought was 20, Joe brought out his grivnas and showed 19. The street vendor looked at them, shrugged, and said "Da." Joe handed over the money, he got the medals and went back to the van feeling very proud of himself. Later, after we finished at the lawyers and were driving away, Joe reflected on what he had heard from the vendor and wondered if the vendor had actually wanted 12. In which case the vendor's shrug probably meant "I will take this crazy American's money if he wants to give it to me.

New pictures are posted, take a look. And rest assured, the cat did not get the bird. Here again is the link to the pictures:
http://s274.photobucket.com/albums/jj262/jhickman13/AdoptionAdventure/?albumview=grid

We have a court date!!!!!

2008-07-25T03:41:00.000-07:00

It is 1:30 pm and we are cooling off in the apartment before we go see Kolya again at 3:30. Today the attorney called us and told us our court date is Monday August 4th at 11:30 am!! Edward is GOOD! This morning when we were meeting the attorney he told us we could not have a court date in August because everyone is on vacation. In the middle of the conversation Edward asked us to return to the van. I will give one guess as to what went on in our absence...it starts with a b and ends with an e, and it worked! Edward gets a big tip from the Hickman's!

So this means we get custody of Kolya on 8/16/08 and the race begins to get his birth certificate then have it changed, getting his passport, his physical, etc. So it looks as if Joe and the kids will keep their original flights out of the country on Sun the 10th and I will change my flight to return earlier than planned. My best guess is we may leave on the 19th or 20th.

Stay tuned, we might blog again today before bedtime.

Huuuurrrrrraaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!

The official meeting with Kolya

2008-07-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

We were picked up today at 8:10 am to go meet with the director of the orphanage, Ludmilla. She told Edward yesterday to tell us we need to make a $1,000.00 donation to the orphanage first thing this morning and to put it into an envelope. She made it clear that she would not discuss this with us at all. So, first thing before we saw Kolya, Edward was summoned into her office to make the payment. She then came out smiling and told us we may "meet" our future son. Kolya was eager to show us his "marks" or grades and his drawings . I felt like he was trying to say, "Hey mom and dad, I am a good kid and will try to please you in any way possible." Ludmilla told us he hated the camp because the older boys picked on him constantly and he is glad we came to take him out. That of course, made me sad.

Also present at the "introduction" was a representative from the Inspector's office. We're not sure the purpose of this office, except to add an additional layer of what our driver describes with a shake of the head as the "Beauracratizy". After the introduction, the inspector lady pulled Edward into an office. Edward returned and told us the inspector's office has many bills to pay and the government will not help. She said she will expedite our paperwork today is we give her $200. Cha-ching. We are an ATM. I looked at Joe and said, "Just give it to her." At this point I can't get him out of there fast enough. The director told us we can visit him twice a day from 10-12:30 and 3:30 to 5pm but Graham and Elizabeth are not allowed inside the orphanage so we must go outside in the heat to see him. I will make no further comments as the director is our best friend.

The kids stayed in the apt. today and when we checked in on them they asked if we could move to another apt., one that is cleaner. I asked if they still see me as a clean freak and both said "No!" in unison. Edward took us to see another apt 2 blocks from the orphanage and it is small but very clean and uncluttered. The owner of the apt was so excited to meet a REAL American she hugged me and begged me to stay at her place. Elizabeth's comment was "we aren't that great." The kids just wanted to know if the bathroom was clean! It only has 2 beds, no oven, no microwave but it has air conditioning. We wish we could move in tonight but we paid for this place for 7 days. The beds here are all couches and were made in the 14th century and aren't even close to being comfortable. Actually I was lying there last night wishing I was back on the train. The mattress there was way more comfortable. Go figure. The driver is costing us over $100/day each day. When we move to the other apt. we will not have that cost anymore. Joe is actually thinking of moving over early because if we stay here will have to pay the driver anyway just to see Kolya.

We asked Kolya about choosing a middle name. We wanted to keep his Ukrainian name of Nykolai but asked him to choose a middle name. Edward said he probably didn't have any idea what American names were, and he did not like Graham's suggestions of Stalin or Lenin, so we kept his last name, Katsy, as a middle name. It is so easy to change your name in the US but I think being a boy, he will be fine with what we gave him.

We did make a few interesting discoveries today. We visited the lawyer today who will help us with our petition to the court. As we sat in his office, we noticed that his bookshelf contained exactly 8 books, including 2 lurid paperbacks. It is apparently a indication of the extent of the laws which exist in Ukraine.

We also have noticed that the lanes on the street are apparently just suggestions. Graham wishes he had learned to drive over here, because then his instructor would not have yelled at him so much. Although given the sound of Russian/Ukrainian, you never know if they are complimenting you or about to disembowel you.

I had to repeat that joke from yesterdays blog (as my kids have pointed out) as a lead in to the last thing we have learned. The Ukrainian language is not the same as the Russian language. Although they share many letters, a good portion of their pronunciations and words are different. On the TV here, they speak Ukranian and subtitle it in Russian. Although Joe claims he is now fluent in Russian, he blames his lack of understanding on the fact that they are speaking in Ukrainian.

A hint for those of you who may be traveling abroad soon ( a good many of you we hope). We are rinsing out our Cola Lite bottles, buying a large jug of good water then pouring the water into the cola bottles and freezing them. Today the water was thawed by 11 am and warm by noon. There are many small markets around the city, but as Joe found today while waiting outside the Inspector's office it is easier to find beer, than it is Coke Lite. So you either resign yourself to drinking beer all day to stay hydrated, or freeze your bottles. Even though most of Joe's Gates comrades would vote for the beer option,. you have to realize that at various points during the day, you have to stay coherent enough to sign your name (and they are watching your every move, ready to report it in court; and our interpreter informed us today that the KGB does not wear uniforms, so you cannot recognize them).

Okay, I'm on a roll right now, so I have to add one more thing. They have many double doors on the apartments here either directly into the apartment, or a door into a small hallway or vestibule, and then into the apartment.. We have been told this is a holdover from the days of the KGB breaking down doors. If they had to break down 2 doors, it gave you a warning they were coming. So rest assured, we will have warning when they come for us.

Finally, we have not seen any of the other children yet. Some are at the summer camp which is an overnight camp right on the beach and the others have not been out when we were there. We will be going to an amusment park with Kolya and Kseniya from the orphanage on Saturday. We will ask her about the kids.

Even more finally, we have discovered the option which allows you all to post comments using the anonymous option. So if you want to post a comment, you should be able to do so easily. We did leave on the verificiation step which requires you to enter the string of characters displayed as a guard against the spammers.

The Twilight Zone 1960

2008-07-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

We are hurtling down the highway between Donetsk and Mariupol. It is as if we are on the autobahn. Our driver, Alexi, is playing no favoirites. He has passed farm trucks, delivery trucks, Volvos, Ladas, Toyotas, BMWs. He just flashed his lights and passed an ambulance with sirens blaring. Our van has no seat belts. This must be the famous Eastern European fatalism. “If I am destined to hurtle through the front window, that is my destiny and no puny seat belt will stop me.” We on the other hand would prefer to return to Colorado with our lives intact. We are desperately rummaging through the luggage looking for something, anything, we can use to tie us down. Wendy has found a belt and secured Graham, she has woven two shirts together into a makeshift sling and lashed herself and Elizabeth to the headrest on the backseat. As for myself, I have taken the power cord to my laptop and wrapped it around the center console used a triple hitch knot to secure myself.

You have entered another dimension, a dimension of sight, sound, time, and space. A dimension not unlike our own, but at the same time, very, very different. You have entered the Eastern Ukraine Twilight Zone.

We had no problems making our train. Our tickets were for the 2nd class compartment, which meant 4 bunks. Unfortunately, we were only able to get 3 of the bunks in one compartment and 2 bunks in another compartment 2 doors away. Contrary to what we had heard, the train was very nice. While the train heated up considerably while it was waiting at the station, it did have air conditioning and once underway, we were quite comfortable. Our train left at 7:30pm for an overnight trip to Donetsk. Joe stayed with Wendy, Graham, and Elizabeth until the sky began to darken and the passengers started getting ready for bed. Then he headed back to the other compartment which he was sharing with Edward (our interpreter) and a Ukrainian couple. Wendy advises that you bring Benadryl on the trip and take it before going to bed on the train (along with Vodka). Wendy seemed to be the only one who was able to sleep most of the night (big surprise!). For the rest of us, it was like sleeping on the Twister II at Elitch’s.

We have arrived in Mariupol, greeted by a factory belching gray smoke and a large statue paying homage to the superiority of the Soviet factory worker. The smell is a seductive blend of coal, creosote, and seaweed. It is 100 degrees and VERY humid! We have worped back to the 1960's where women wore dresses and highheels and men wore dress pants everywhere. There are no seat belts and no speed limits signs. No dryers or dishwashers. I loved explaining to Elizabeth my childhood of hanging clothes on a line and the art of using the least possible amount of clothes pins possible. She is fearful of the birds pooping on our clean clothes! The apartment we are staying in looks like Joes's dad's old house...very cluttered and dirty. BUT, it has internet as we were told 50 times, and hot water (which is a privilge) and air conditioning in one room. For the internet, we could find a cafe, it is summer, so hot water is not as important, but with this temperature, that air conditioning sold us. Even if the outside of the building and the stairwell look like it was transplanted from a horror movie. We'll post pictures as soon as we are rested.

It cannot be emphasized enough to the adoption group, how much time is spent in the car, sweating and pacing! We left the train at 7:15 this morning, and were not able to shower, brush our teeth, eat, or even go to the bathroom until 6pm this evening. We have been going constantly. Teenagers tend to get a little grumpy, go figure! Tomorrow we will have a DVD ready and watch it during the hours of down time. We should be able to see at least 10 movies per day. These people really out-do Floridians (not that we have anything aganist Floridians) in the "lets see how slow we can move" game.

We have saved the biggest news for last. We saw Kolya today. That is the brightest part of our day! He looks exactly the same... no taller or bigger, just a happy kid. He still refuses to talk because he knows we do not understand a word of Ukrainian. The social worker tried to get him to practice his English but he was too shy. He sat in the back of the van and played with our kids, giggling. One of the errands today was to pick him up at summer camp and bring him back to the orphanage. We just happened to be be riding in the van when it picked him up. Tomorrow we will get to officially meet him in the director's office. We will discuss his choice of names with him since he has a chance to totally make him self into someone new. Joe favors Seward Lee Grant Hickman in honor of his great grandfather. Wendy likes Throckmorton because it sounds cool. Graham and Elizabeth are in a coin toss between Bart and Megatron. We just hope he ignores all of us and picks something which he likes. We also have about a zillion more documents (give or take 3-4). Our kids unanimously voted to stay in the airconditioned apartment for the day. Smart kids.

Seriously, once we were able to hug Kolya again, all the frustration melted away. This is our reason for being here.

Tuesday - Day of confusion

2008-07-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

We are still in Kyiv. Our train is scheduled to leave in 4 hours. We will be picked up in 2 hours. Our plans today were to keep a low profile, relaxing around the flat. It has been relaxation interspersed with panic.

Let me start with a short description of our current abode. There is a hallway door which is locked, and then the door to our flat. They are 2 inches apart. I guess they have double doors because the KGB used to knowdown their doors to get in. There are 4 flats on our hallway behind the hallway door and a buzzer for each flat. Because we have always gone out as a group, we have had no need for the buzzer.

Around 11am today, we heard a chirping in our flat. Surprised, we started checking for any rogue parakeets which might have flown into our flat through an open window. The chirping grew more insistent. Finally, we discovered the source of the chirping in a little box by the front door. Ever the sharp family, we deduced that it must be coming from the buzzer at the hallway door. Bravely, the family pushed Joe out into the hallway to answer. Opening the door, Joe encountered a woman speaking either Russian or Ukranian very quickly. Joe backed slowly toward the flat, afraid this was a raid from the dreaded KGB. After a few confusing minutes, during which no guns were drawn or handcuffs displayed, Joe realized he was probably not in danger. Wendy thought fast and tossed Joe the cell phone we had bought for use here. A call to Valentine brought no answer. A call to Edward brought no answer. A call to Andrew brought an answer, quickly followed by a Call Ended message. After several attempts, we were able to establish a connection with Andrew and handed the phone to the mystery woman so he could find out what she wanted. She wanted to know when we were leaving. Ahhh, we could answer that. We were able to tell her that we would be leaving at 5:45 that evening. Crisis averted. We thought....

Around 2pm, the parakeet trapped in the little box began chirping again. Confidently, Joe went to the hallway door and opened it. It was the woman who had shown us the flat when we arrived on Friday, Lena. She also was speaking in a foreign language which Joe could not understand. Where do these people think they are. They should be speaking English.... Oh, maybe not; sorry.

Once again, we grabbed our trusty cell phone and started calling around, and getting Call Ended message after Call Ended message. We pantomined to the woman that we were trying to call Valentin, but our phone was not working. She looked up his phone number in her address book and called using her phone. After connecting, she handed the phone to us. Valentin explained that there was a checkout time of noon, and she would need another 200 grivnas for us to stay until 5:45. It would have been good to know that ahead of time. We could have saved approximately $40 and sat outside with our bags for the 6 hours. Or wandered the streets of Kyiv dragging our bags behind us. All 5 of them.

Later, we used our "state of the art" cell phone to call the Matthews and let them know of our experiences. After several dropped calls, we discovered the secret. There was a 2 sq. ft. box in the bedroom where the cell phone worked perfectly, if you stayed perfectly still with your left arm cocked at a 54 degree angle and your right hand pointed NNW.

So lesson learned, allow for checkout time on the day you are leaving, and make prior arrangements when paying up front.

We have to close the blog now. We have left Graham back in the flat, and have to check to make sure the KGB has not burst in to pick him up on charges of turning the stereo all the way up to 11.

For those of you have left comments in our blog, we thank you for the thoughts and prayers. For those who have asked questions, Wendy has left a comment on yesterdays blog with answers.

Next posting will be from Mariupol (or a gulag somewhere if we do not get out of the flat by 5:45).

Wendy here, when these people talk to us they speak very quickly and loudly (which is good because some of you know I am deaf). Even though we know they are not yelling at us, well I guess we don't know that, it seems like it. When a Frenchman cusses you out it sounds like poetry, when a Ukrainian woman compliments you it sounds as if she is cussing you out. The French at least smile when they hate you. I guess I have discovered that this language is harsh even in the best of times. Poor Kolya, we will be very patient with him and pantomine EVERYTHING. :)

SDA Appointment

2008-07-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

This is the day we have waited for for 16 months. Joyce and Dan could not stand waiting in their apartment while we had our meeting at the SDA so they demanded to come along. It is so nice to have them with us as they are so funny and easy to get along with. We were told not to wear shorts but capris were okay. Great, I had capris, what I didn't have was an appropriate pair of shoes. Of course I heard all the wise cracks from the boys about how many shoe shops we had passed in the last 2 days. What can I say (Kara) I don't like shopping for shoes. I lucked out as Joyce had on a perfect pair of mules and did not think twice about offering me them for the appointment and we wear the same size. She is my third sister! When I told Valentin to wait a second because I had to change shoes he LOL. Am I becoming a Ukrainian? (by the way, this was written by Wendy; Joe had an appropriate pair of shoes and did not have to borrow Joyce's)

The SDA was interesting for several reasons: They were 15 minutes late calling us in because we are approved for up to 3 kids and they were trying to find 2 more children for us to take home! Go figure adoption friends, I guess we could adopt unrelated children. Maybe they had some left over from last week! I would have brought home all the kids from Mariupol for you guys if I could have, honest. It just isn't that easy is it Lisa?! Next, they stated they knew we were here to adopt a preselected child that had stayed with us in the US. They asked when that was. We told them. Oh yeah, Valentin did no prepping before the appointment, we just answered the questions truthfully. Then she asked us to tell her about our family. We then saw Kolya's picture and paperwork. His information is the same; born to a mother who was born in 1964 and her parental rights were taken away and she still lives in Mariupol. The father died in 2001. No siblings and he may have something going on with his heart which is minor. Thats it. Just remember, no one smiles here and this is very serious. (sarcasm inserted). The mother is not allowed to visit the child once the parental rights are relinguished. Another lie the Stork and "She who must not be named" told. While we were sitting there the lady asked Valentin about the Matthew's appt on Wed. The SDA had not recieved a letter requesting a specific child (another strike for The Stork and David). Valentin called Dan to ask Nastia's last name because the SDA lady could not find Nastia in her Mariupol book. (Wendy then begins to panic for the Matthew's). But, she does find Nastia in the computer so all is well. It is really good that the Matthews came as Nastia was not "reserved" or set aside for Dan and Joyce due to the missing paperwork. When Joyce found out about this, she was understandably upset and it pretty much ruined her day, even though she knows Nastia is still there and the SDA will not adopt her out to anyone else before Wed. It's the fact that they almost did not come here as the Stork requested, that really bothers them.

We then commenced souvenir shopping just next to the SDA. There are many street vendors just like a flea market in Mexico who love to pressure you into buying their junk. We did. Graham was once again in his element as there is so much soviet paraphernalia. I have never seen this kid love to shop like he does here.

We picked up our paperwork (walking papers) at the SDA at 5 pm today. It kills me that we can't leave tonight on the train but the train is booked way ahead just like plane tickets and our tickets are for tomorrow night. We leave at 7:30 pm and arrive in Donetsk at 7am then drive 80 miles to Mariupol. Valentin warned us the kids are at camp and it is up to the director whether or not she will allow him to be at the orphanage while we are in town. He must be there when we arrive for the initial meeting to sign the adoption papers and he must be present for the court date, but whether or not he is at the orphanage or at camp in between, is up to the director.

We are getting along with Dan and Joyce so well we decided that when Joe and the kids leave after the court date, Dan and Joyce will move into our 3 room flat to save money. Our flat will cost $45/noc.

By the way, Twyla, thanks for the Febreeze. With 4 people sharing a bathroom, it comes in handy.

And Shelli, we are so pleased with Valentin. Please send us an e-mail to jwhickman@comcast.net. We thought we would have your e-mail address available using our webmail, but our contacts list is not available. Andrew was the best! We now have Edward for the rest of the trip, he does laugh at our jokes as hard as Andrew. We'll break him in (Ihope).
Joe here. I am providing a link which shows a better default view of our pictures.

http://s274.photobucket.com/albums/jj262/jhickman13/AdoptionAdventure/?albumview=grid

We have no new pictures posted today. We will take pictures of the train which we will post some time after we get to Mariupol. By the way, our translator in Mariupol will be Edward. He has been working adoptions since 1999 and seems to know what he is doing.

2008-07-20T08:04:00.001-07:00

Photobucket Album

Sunday in Kyiv

2008-07-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

Today we were on our own until 1 pm. We tried the WiFi Cafe across the street but were unable to log on with the lap top. We then ventured out and stumbled upon a large farmers market, fish market and what we would call a flee market. These women are shoe obsessed and wear dresses and highheels everywhere! That is all they sold at the flee market it seemed. When Joyce, Elizabeth and I went shopping at the mall yesterday they were all American stores! And of course the other stores sold.......you guessed it, dresses and highheels! No way Jose! While we were at the farmers market we saw bing cheeries and wanted to buy them. We tried not to talk too much so that the sellers would not know we were American and take advantage of us. It didn't work, we spent 12 dollars for a kg of cheeries! Oh well.

From 1-4 pm we walked around what we would call "Living History Farms" in Iowa. It was a very large area depicting the history of Ukraine. None of us girls were that interested in it but the boys liked it.

We are now at an underground mall at an internet cafe. It seems the malls are all underground and like a maze. We do not know when we will get to another computer so don't hold your breath for our next blog. But we do have to hold our breath in this room as everyone here has B.O. including us after walking around in the heat for 3 hours. Our apointment at the SDA is at 9am tomorrow and we plan on going shopping right after that for souvenirs.

Kyiv is very modern and not much different than New York. The food is a little different and we can't read the signs or undersatnd anyone, but many people can speak English and are vey accomadating. EXCEPT the lady in the restroom just now. We have to carry toilet paper with us everywhere because they do not provide it. So I waltzed into the mall bathroom with my own TP and the lady in the booth was right on my rear-end when I came out speaking loudly and pointedly at me and demanding 1 grivna. I had no money and I did not use her TP. It didn't matter. Luckily Elizabeth and Joyce came to my rescue with money and freed me from the Ukrainian bathroom I was held prisoner in! The bathrooms are the hole in the ground and squat kind. It was a hoot to see joyce's face the first time she saw one! LOL.

One more note; the vodka here is really smooth and no headache at all in the morning. I am hooked! Only Russian vodka from now on!

We have created a place for the photos we have been taking. You can find them here:

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj262/jhickman13/AdoptionAdventure

Saturday – Sightseeing in Kyiv

2008-07-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Andrew, who would be our guide, and Victor, our driver, picked up the Matthews and then us. They were going to show us the sights of Kyiv. The first sight we saw was McDonalds. I guess Andrew figured a group of pasty Americans would need to fuel up at some place familiar before exploring the new.
We toured so many places: thousand year old churches with walls covered in murals and mosaics, a museum of miniature exhibits viewed only through magnifying glasses, an outdoor military museum with the relics of Soviet armies past (tanks, artillery, MIG fighters, rocket launchers, helicopters, etc.) Graham, of course, was in his element.
At one point in the afternoon, the guys graciously allowed the ladies to shop at an underground mall while they drank beer at an underground bar. The sacrifices guys will make for women….
Finally, after numerous tours and stops for shopping, we arrived back at our apartment. Victor then took Joyce and Dan back to their apartment. We made our way up the elevator to the 10th floor. You have not experienced elevators until you have ridden in a Soviet era model. The doors slam shut when they close, bouncing the car. It groans, it creaks, it bumps, and finally it will clunk to a rest on what you hope is your floor. It’s like a game of elevator roulette when you ride. Will the door open on our floor, will it open 2 floors below or above, or will it hurtle at break neck speed, out of control, back to the ground floor? We decided that every time it opens on the floor we actually choose, we will buy a lottery ticket. We don’t expect to win much money.
Enough digression about elevators. We were arriving back at the apartment about 10:00pm after a day of sightseeing. We took the elevator up to our floor, unlocked the door, and flicked on the light. Then tried to flick it on again, then again, then one more time for good measure. We had no power. We went through checking the various lights, the fridge, etc. No power. Joe went back down to the ground floor, bravely risking all in the elevator once again. There, he asked the building manager (or at least the little old lady who seemed to live at the front door) in his best Russian “Nyet light?” She proceeded to rattle off an impressive Russian monologue which lasted at least 3 minutes. At the end, Joe could only respond with the single Russian phrase he knows, which roughly translates to “I don’t understand.” She then led him outside and pointed to the building across the way which also seemed lightless. Joe saw the light (as it were) at that point. The power was out in a few buildings. As Joe rode back up in the elevator he had nicknamed Christine, he speculated on why the elevator would be working in a building without power, and for that matter, why the little old lady at the front desk was comfortably bathed in light. He could only imagine that it was a holdover from the Soviet days when electricity was randomly cut off to keep the populace in fear of the power of the state. A few minutes after Joe came back up, the power was restored and we happily made our way to our corners to journal our thoughts of the day.
Lessons learned today:
Ukrainian women wear 4 inch heels on cobblestone streets. Visitors to Ukraine would be better off with comfortable walking shoes because you will walk.
Hang out in Independence Square on Saturday afternoon. They have pony rides for the kids and thousands of Kyivians joining you.
Be careful on the sidewalks. Because there is little room on the street, cars use the sidewalks for parking.
Pedestrians take their life in their hands crossing the street. Just like New York City, the pedestrian does not have the right of way; he is merely a target for a driver collecting points.
Public toilets tend to be a hole in the ground and a “bring your own paper” affair.
Borscht is a tasty dish.
And the most important lesson: BRING A FLASHLIGHT.

Friday – Arriving in Kyiv

2008-07-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Friday – Arriving in Kyiv
We had expected to suffer thru the long flight from Denver to Munich, but thanks to Lufthansa, the 9 and a half hours passed quickly. The only downside to the flight occurred because Joe tried to be a good person. He pre-ordered gluten-free meals for Wendy and Graham and a vegetarian meal for Elizabeth. Wendy and Graham were presented with beautiful pieces of salmon. Wendy and Graham hate fish. Elizabeth, ever the dedicated vegetarian, looked shocked at the spinach and cheese ravioli. How could a vegetarian be expected to eat something which contained spinach????
It was the 5 hour layover in Munich which did us in. Sprawled comfortably across the luxurious airport chairs, Graham and Joe managed a couple hours of blissful sleep while Wendy and Elizabeth glared malevolently.
The second leg from Munich to Kyiv was uneventful and we met Valentin at the airport without problems. The Matthews arrived an hour after we did so we all rode into the city together. Valentin and Lena showed us our apartment, or at least tried to. It took 5 minutes of what we assume to be Russian or Ukrainian swear words, before they realized they were trying to open the door of the wrong apartment. I’m just glad that apartment was not the home to a former Soviet KGB agent. Eventually, we were shown our home in Kyiv for the next 4 days. Completely exhausted and assured by Valentin that things were on track for our SDA appointment at 9am on Monday, we fell asleep to the sounds of singing coming from the park across the street.

2 Days and Counting!

2008-07-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

Well the nerves are jumpin and anxiety is high as we are leaving on July 17th on our BIG adventure. We have 3 suitcases full of donations that we and many other people want to send, along with our stuff. Luckily, Lufthansa allows 2 bags per person plus one carry on per person. Three of the bags are duffle and will fold up into the other suitcases when emptied. It’s lugging them on and off trains and in and out of hotels without elevators that will be a pain.

The adoption saga has not quieted since our last blog, as a matter of fact, things have heated up even more. The couple that is currently over in Ukraine to adopt, originally had the 2 kids they hosted adopted-out to an Italian couple several months ago. They were then given names of another sibling group. They had their appointment with the Ukrainian government in Kyiv last week and found out those 2 kids were also adopted the day before they arrived. Two other couples who hosted children have had their children adopted before they could go over there and get them. So, guess what we are worried about?! You guessed it….will Kolya be there when we get there? We contacted the adoption people in Ukraine and asked if they could possibly find out if he is indeed still there before we travel. We have not heard back.

The next question is, if he is not there (i.e., already been adopted) would we go anyway? I think the answer is yes. I would keep the appointment with the SDA then go stalk the orphanage to see if they were telling the truth. We would consider adopting another child, but we really have not gone into that thinking process just yet. The reason we were adopting Kolya was that he fit nicely into our family and we grew to love him, not just to adopt. I have been told that once we get there we will want to save all the kids we meet. Luckily, we only have permission to take one home.

We will post pictures of our departure and increasingly graying (or in my case, increasingly curly) hair as soon as we find an internet café. We do have a long layover in Munich, Germany. Maybe they will have an internet cafe and we can download/upload some pictures. Stay tuned!

We have a travel date!

2008-05-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday April 26, 2008 the phone rings at 7:30 am. Joe is already up and answers it. It is Shelli, our US adoption connection, asking if we had seen our e-mail yet. Joe, being the wise, conscientious husband that he is, waited until later to come jumping on the bed, singing (very badly off-key) "We've got a travel date! We've got a travel date!"

We have an appointment with the SDA (Ukrainian version of an adoption agency) on July 21st. Therefore we will be leaving the country July 18th. Now, I was hoping for a June date for several reasons. One; the entire family could stay the entire time, not leaving me there to melt in the heat alone at the end. Our kids start school on Aug. 13th and will need to be back by then. Two; June would be cooler. Three; They do not have air conditioning and the Indiana family that was there last July could not emphasize enough how hot it was with no trees and lots of pollution. (Obviously, I am not a candidate for peace corp!) Four; We have a 10 hour train ride from Kyiv to his town on a train that the windows do not open and again, has no air conditioning. Oh yea, and no bathrooms to speak of, so we shouldn't drink anything before getting on. In additon, there is no guarentee that we will get a court date by Aug 10th. For those who are just tuning into our saga, getting a court date sometimes takes weeks then the Ukraine has a 10 day waiting period after the court date during which time the adoption can be reversed if a family member steps forward to claim the child. The shortest time to adopt in this city is 4 weeks. After the 10 day waiting period, there are documents to get which take 3-5 days more.

Okay, so I need to suck it up and be real about being there by myself. I just need to keep my mouth shut and not complain how badly my clothes smell from wearing them for weeks in 100 degree heat. So much for no curly hair while I'm there.

P.S. We are thrilled to have a date! The faster we get this child out of the orphanage, the sooner he can start his life! Remember, childbirth is an act of nature, adoption is an act of love.

How our BIG adventure started

2008-04-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

The insanity...oops....I mean adventure started when Wendy watched the 10:00 evening news August 2006. They had a segment about a group of Ukrainian orphans coming to Colorado for 3 weeks on a cultural exchange who needed host families. The host family would feed and house the child and provide transportation to and from the activities. Wendy was working part-time and decided this was an adventure she was capable of handling. At this point, Joe was banging his head against the wall asking himself for the thousanth time why he married her (my adventures usually meant pain and suffering in the form of money or lost time on the golf course for him). We have 2 teenagers to deal with, why not cart around another child?

To make a very, very long and frustrating story short, we fell in love with our host child Nykolai (a.k.a. Kolya) Katsy before he even stepped foot in our house in March 2007 and decided if he fit into our bizzare family we would offer to be his forever family if he would take us. The "poor child" was bribed with Wal Mart toys and clothes (clothes which our children would never wear in fear their friends may find out) and "dragged" to Hawaii for a week (a trip that was pre-planned and had already been cancelled once due to a snow storm shutting down DIA......). After the 2.5 weeks of enduring crazy Americans, he decided that he would tolerate us as his forever family and accepted our offer of adoption.

As you can deduce, it has taken us over a year (13 months, 5 days and 4 hours to be exact, but who's counting?) to get to this point where we feel safe enough to develop a blog (where the h--- did they come up with that term?) to inform the limited number of people in the world who are patient enough to listen to our rantings about the adoption process and tolerate my run-on sentences, of our impending trip to Ukraine.

Our Dossier (I capitalize this because it cost us over a gazillion dollars to create and mail therefore it should have it's own identity) has finally been submitted to the Ukrainian government (on March 31, 2008) and they should be giving us a travel date by the first week in May.....2008. We hope to travel sometime in June.....2008, with our 2 teenagers. We are gluttons for punishment aren't we?

Hi, Joe here, I have read and approved the above message. By the way, blog is short for web log. Thank-you.